Man Wielding Bat’leth Robs 2 Colorado 7-11s [UPDATE: Surveillance Cam Image] February 4, 2009
by Anthony Pascale , Filed under: Fandom, Great Links , trackback
Apparently the economy is so bad, that a Trekkie has turned to crime. According to multiple reports from the Colorado press, a man wielding a Klingon Bat’leth sword robbed two different 7-11 stores in Colorado Springs, CO this morning. So far no one was injured, but the crook has not yet been caught. More details and a video TV report below. [UPDATE: Image of Bat'leth Bandit released]
Qapla’…now hand over the cash
The robber, described as "a white man in his 20s, wearing a black jacket, blue jeans and wearing a mask" robbed the first 7-11 at 145 N Spruce Street in Colorado Springs at 1:50 AM. The robber demanded money and left after getting an undisclosed amount of cash. According to reports, the clerk recognized the weapon "from the Star Trek TV series." A half hour later the Bat’leth bandit struck again at a 7-11 at 2407 Union, but after the clerk refused to give him any money the robber (in a very un-Klingon-like move) fled the scene. Neither clerk was injured and the robber is still at large.
Here is a report from KKTV in Colorado
UPDATE: Photo
The Colorado Police have released a surveillance camera image of the robbery.
Bat’leth weilding robber bringing dishonor to Trekkies
UPDATE 2: Police consider Bat’leth deadly weapon
According to a report in the Colorado Springs Gazette, Police are taking this crime seriously. Police spokesman Lt. David Whitlock tells the paper:
If this individual is arrested, the charge will be the same as if he carried a gun. It’s considered a deadly weapon.
Whitlock also acknowledges that using this kind of weapon in a crime is unusual, noting he "can’t imagine it’s very easy to conceal.
If you are wondering, you can actually purchase stainless steel Bat’leth swords. KnivesDeal.com offers a number of designs ranging from $30-$75. (TrekMovie does not recommend using Bat’leths for anything except honorable and ceremonial purphoses)
[Sources: Denver Post, DenverChannel, KKTV]
Thanks to Kevin, Salgado, and Ran for sending in tips.
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Comments»
I’ve been wondering where Closettrekker’s been…
Man, what an idiot!!
Ok. That Klingon has No honor and will Never get to Stovokor. May His Flesh be eaten aline by all of the other Dishonerable Klingons.
At least he didn’t go beserk, copy Ledger’s Joker, and slaughter babies like the one in Belgium last week.
Yeah, This weapon was from Star Track! A Star Track looking sword. Imagine that. At least the second guy got it right.
At least he didn’t use one of the new phasers. Can you imagine his embarrassment when the stun to kill spin function jammed as he demanded the 30 bucks out of the register? Frankly, he could have sold the Bat’leth for more money than you’d get out of a 7-11…
This petaQ has neither honor nor courage.
Wow… what if someone else in the store had a gun? He would be in quite the pickle wouldn’t he? Not very bright.
Oh, our lost brother has turned to a life of crime. Let us fund this lost soul and bring him back to the fold. Roddenberry would definitely not approve of his actions. For shame, you have brought dishonor to the Trekkie name.
omg that’s awesome. i’d like to see him use klingon battle armor made from kevlar tho… that’d be the shiznit.
For His Punishment Ill put him in the Agoniser Booth for a period of no less then 24 hours. Then Ill give him to the Klingons and they can send him to Rurea Penthea where he will be forced to work the Mines for a Period of no less then 25 years and then he will be let go but he will havt to walk past the beaming shield with no coat and if he makes it then he will be released. Thats the way we do things in the Empire!!!
Ack! FIND this lost soul, not FUND! lol, my bad.
EPIC KLINGON FAIL.
Someone’s going to Gret’hor tonight!
Truth truly is stranger than fiction.
Yet more proof that contrary to what we see at the movies, criminals are stupid.
I just woke up.
[reads story][eyes pop][eyes relax]
I think I need to sleep some more.
This is an embaressment to the Star Trek Community, especially with a new movie com ing out soon. If this goes national, this could hurt.
I can’t believe the stupid anchor said Star Track!!!
AARRRRGGHHHH!
For the record, I am in my 40s and have a good alibi here in Windsor Colorado which is about 100 miles north of Colorado Springs. Of course it could have been me that did this though. I am working on my alibi as we speak. It should be ironclad by about nooner.
I bet it was someone that I know or hang out with that did this. I once dated this witch chick. serious… this was about 6 years ago. anyway. she would cast the spells and whatnot. so anyway, after tapping that a few times, i find out she’s married – to this dude who lives in Longmont who actually BILLieves that he is a Klingon. She said that he would get drunk and beat her, playing Klingon. Apparently she was unable to cast a spell strong enough to protect herself so they were separated at the time.
So I tapped it a few more times. But then she started talking this weirdo stuff about my kids and how she could see their futures and whatnot. I was offended and had enough of that mumbo jumbo. She was trying to manipulate me, I saw right through that. SO I broke it off with her. But she just didnt get it. She would call me at like 3 in the morning, crying, begging for me to take her back. I told her that if she was such a powerful witch, why not just cast a spell to get me back? Anyway this went on for about a week or so. I had just finally gotten enough of it.
Next thing I did was call up this Klingon husband guy in Longmont and tell him what his lil witchey woman had been up to. OF COURSE he wanted to battle me like any Klingon would. But he saw my honor and knew that I was an honorable warrior. So last I heard, she had gone back to him and gotten a major Klingon beatdown for cheating on him.
WHY do I share these stories with y’all? I guess that I just want to share a part of my experience with the trekmovies dot com, the good folk here who share with me so much. It’s like a giving tree, and we give until we get a Hurtz Donut™. I suppose so.
THE WOMEN!!
=h=
Ferengi Win?
#18. You are Not Guilty by order of the Imperal leader of the Terran Empire.
He needs to be sent to Rura Penthe for the rest of his natural life.
How dare he dishonor the good name of Star Trek fandom.
I realize it’s irresponsible to say so, but that is totally bad ass.
Since when is it dishonorable for a Klingon to steal? Genesis device, anyone? The DS9-VOY people are polluting these boards with their watered-down Klingon honor propaganda.
Kruge lives!
18 – That is one scary story.
#18
Dude… That’s one crazy bitch. I really can’t blame her husband for turning Klingon. LOL
“No Rokeg Blood Pie flavored Slurpees? This will not stand!”
um, correction incase wifey happens across this, it was about 9 years ago, not 6.
before i knocked up wifey at the xmas party.
that is all.
=h=
His actions were without honor.
#22. Kruge did what he thought was best for the Klingon Empire. He did not just do it for himself. This Guy who Robbed the stores did it just for himself. So the distinction of this petty crook and Kruge simply does not work.
i’m surprised that the clerk kind of recognized the weapon!
it is irresponsible to say so……but this is a fun story.
The Klingons are here!
#22. While I do agree there can be honor in stealing something like a cloaking device or even plans to the Death Star, armed robbery is just wrong…..even for a Klingon.
Just goes to show, TNG fans take their show WAY too seriously!
Could have been worse, though, he could have been wearing a silly forehead and nose prosthetic!!!! ;)
At least he didn’t try to use a phaser toy, he used a real weapon. Not like this so-called “trekkie” who used a shoebox to try and rob a bank and said it had inside “a bomb like on Star Trek.”
http://mystartrekscrapbook.blogspot.com/2008/10/sherlock-spock-and-more.html
P’tach….
If it was me, I’d rob the place using a Vulcan neck pinch from TOS! :)
HOLD THE PHONES!! I’ve been hit with some inspirado for draft 2 of “If I Did It, Jr”… what I am going to do is make the OJ, Charlie, F. Lee Bailey and Johnny Cochran characters Klingons in version 2. The Browns and Goldmans will all be Federation characters serving aboard different starships and deep space nines and whatnot.
I’ll make a call to JC and see if I can rent the “New Voyages” sets and turn IF I DID IT JR into an epic space battle! OJ, wielding a Bat’leth, commits heinous double murder. Maybe I’ll make the Nicole character into some sort of wiccan monster, and Ron Goldman can be a red shirt. Then OJ and Charlie flee the scene in their Bird Of Prey to rob some 7-11s with the Enterprise in hot pursuit!
Life imitates art, my good friends. Its where you get all the best stories anyway. ask the orcster. did anyone see fringe last night? as a rule, every episode of fringe begins on an airplane – you know, captain sully and boston harbor flight 1549 and all that. see what i am saying? real life is where all the true inspirado comes from.
=h=
Okay, Paramount is going a bit overboard with the movie promotion now.
28 Cap’n Mike: That’s a distinction without a difference. Klingons steal.
And if a Klingon is hooked on Crystal Meth, trapped in Colorado, or needs diapers for his kid, he’d steal from a 7/11.
Klingon honor is extremely overrated.
I have had enough of youuuuu!
That just cuts me up…..
Ha ha, I think this is funny as hell! I can remember that nutter from the early nineties who thought he was Highlander and the cops shot the sword out of his hands! Hope this guy continues to rob other stores and get away with it for my amusement!
Hey, we should take whatever promoting we can get! Star Wars had Stormtroopers getting arrested, we could use some Klingon criminals!
It was probably one of those sniveling and cowardly humanized Klingons that were around for a few years back during Kirk’s command. Those wimpy smooth-headed Klingons were just pathetic.
#37. You are Right. # 38 you are Wrong.
Scene: An interrogation room on Earth.
Detective One: Ok, pal. Let’s start with your name.
Klingon: Gowron.
Detective Two: Occupation?
Klingon: Leader of the High Council.
Detective One: That’s a pretty funny outfit you got on, fella. You from New Orleans? Mardi Gras refugee, maybe?
Klingon: I am from the Klingon home world! Son of Ja’Rod.
Detective Two: Ja’Rod? You mean like that guy that plays for the Yankees? I hate the Yankees.
Detective One: Look scumbag, we got you on two counts of armed robbery, one count of resisting arrest, and you tried to eat one of our K-9 dogs. You’re in big trouble, boy. Why don’t you play ball, and save yourself a lot of trouble?
Klingon: Detective Three was also stubborn. He, too, refused to listen. Now… he is gone. You need not make the same mistake.
Detective Two: Book ‘em Danno.
Huh. I think the without honor part comes from the fact that after he was denied money at the second location, he fled the scene rather than eviscerating the clerk who dared challenge him. Maybe. :P
Still, this is just sad.
Freaking psycopaths loose! Just making trekkies appear more WEIRD!! Lucky, no ne was hurt. Next time, the dope should have used a lightsaber. Maybe he was promoting his version of the movie. JERK!
BTW, there’s got to be better Bat’leth makers out there than what’s offered on that KnivesDeal.com link. Their Sword of Kahless especially is a little ugh compared to the DS9 version, which was just beautiful! (Y’know…for a weapon of killing and junk.)
Part of his parole should be reporting to his officer to be beaten by a pain stick once a week. Classic.
#37 – That was truly priceless… ROFL!
Look, I see alot of comments about how this reflects on Treksters but let me tell you as a Trekster living in Colorado, the brunt of the embarrassment is in the Colorado part of this. I mean who was it who was talking about Colorado meth heads needing diaper money or whatever? That comment stings because there are some folks out here who are like that. But I say they are only a few.
Let me, hitch1969, reassure the Star Trek interwebs community that most of us Coloradoans are exemplary citizens of distinguished merit. I am sure this is just a case of one bad apple happening here. It saddens me that Columbine and now this shape the perceptions of the good people living in Colorado such as myself, the Longmont Klingon, and his witchy wife. We are a decent, civil people of sound mind. God Bless us all.
THE WOMEN!!
=h=
Wait a minute… Star Trek fans appearing weird? No way…
That is awesome!
I just wonder why no one had thought of using one of those until now!
I cannot stop laughing!!! HAAAA!
#51
Way. Disappointed to see it took 3 posts before Klingon High Command voiced their displeasure. C’mon, ya’ bunch of geeks!
But to tell the truth I can relate to this robber guy. I used to paint myself green and go to nudie bars and pole dance. It’s hell trying to get green paint off the hair on your legs BTW.
29– i’m surprised that the clerk kind of recognized the weapon!
Yeah, I’ve never seen nerdy, sci-fi loving geeks working at a 7-11 or a blockbusters, either…
LOTS —— OF —— LAUGHTER —— !!!
I knew DST shouldn’t have released all those Tribble Replicas!
#50
Klingons robbing C-stores… Hey, you guys had the Killdozer too!
All in all, Colorado sounds like a much more interesting place than Oregon
#53…
That post is very funny if I picture you as a somewhat overweight and hairy 45 year-old male trekkie. I imagine some arrests would come from that…
28, He may have been stealing for the empire if the current economic crisis is impacting the home world. The dishonor comes from fleeing the scene perhaps?
STAR TRACK? ROTFLMAO ! WHAT AN ANUS.
Cobalt 1365™ – I totally forgot about the KillDozer©!!! Oh man, that was some funny stuff that day in 2004, was it? Thank you for making my day. I had totally fogotten about that. Someone, please… get me a google link to that or something. I want to re-live.
Basically some dude who was mad at his city council in Colorado built a HATE TANK which was a modified bulldozer with machine guns and everything and took his town out. anyone remember that? It would only be better had he been in Klingon costume!
You’re right dude – Colorado is full of whackos. What am I thinking? They should put a fence around our border and only let whackos in but not out. thats totally funny!
=h=
=h=
#59. You may have a point.It was his fleeing in the Face of Battle that will cause him to face Dishonor and to have the klingon Councel turn there backs on him.
Maybe he would have had better success if he hadn’t demanded the money in the Klingon language….
60, It doesn’t take a lot of brains to be a news anchor but he should at least be able to pronounce “trek”. Yes indeed. He is a big fat anus.
Weird, could this have something to do with the Depression???
Reading about the economic Depression, which is far worse and will last many years longer than the media or government will admit, has brought stories about suicides, murders, and all sorts of tragedy.
Trekkies too are a part of this bleak world that the ‘VooDoo economic’ ideology of the last 28 years has given us.
Just a thought.
See this is the kind of thing that gives good nerds like us a bad name.
65 – What a sad, sad bore you must be at parties.
really? a star track sword?
My favorite part of the story is TrekMovie.com giving instructions on where you can buy the weapon used in the robbery. nice!
In reality, I’m just betting this guy is no fan, he stole the weapon from somebody else and thought it would be good to use for a stickup.
I’d hate to think a treu fan would do something so stupid as to draw derision on us all.
Of course, it’s a sad but true fact that most pedophiles are trekkies, (not the reverse) and they have no problem with bringing shame on the rest of us, so I’ll give this guy some slack. Maybe he read all the rants on here about the new movie, got depressed, got drunk, and grabbed the thing off his wall.
He has brought shame and dishonor to his house. Sto’vo’kor holds no place for spineless p’taQs like these.
Hitch, your wish is my command:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marvin_Heemeyer
Colorado’s first Supervillan! (the Klingon was just his sidekick)
#58
Even though I am not overweight and younger than 45 my post is still funny. I am troubled that you are trying to picture me, though. They told me there would be people like you on the internets. There may have to be an arrest made.
are you saying that the orcster, playing loose and free with canon, is ultimately responsible for this crime? yo orcster, can you defend that allegation?
and i do agree that trekmovies dot org could set a better example here. because after OJ did those murders, you couldn’t get that knife ANYWHERE. BILLieve me, at the time I went to the knife store at the mall and asked for an OJ knife. They thought I was crazy and were disgusted in the question.
=h=
70-
Do explain the pedophile reference, please.
He was obviously just trying to promote the new movie. More power to him. And dare I say it…first?
Qplah!
Oh, and I seem to notice a disturbing trend in comments to the effect of :”This is bringing shame on all of us Star Trek fans.”
I find this to be a ridiculous statement. Because the guy is using a weapon from a TV show is no reason for me to feel any less of myself and what I like. That would be akin to a baseball fan being ashamed because of Barry Bonds.
You are not responsible for other people’s bad (or criminal) behaviors. I have now freed your conscience. Have a swell day.
Marvin Heemeyer… we… speak… YOUR NAME!!!
uh huh uh huh thanks dude!
humm looks like some one was not very honerabel you Ferangi
Next – group of criminals, masked as Ferengi, robberd depo in bank (just like in TD, but with Ferengi, not Joker masks). :D
#75…
I don’t want to derail the whole thread here on this, so here’s a trektoday.com writeup that summarizes it.
http://www.trektoday.com/news/210805_04.shtml
Frankly, I don’t understand the connection and don’t really want to think about it. But if they don’t make Trek look bad then this one lone bat’leth swinging idgit won’t either.
#73…
Now that you have clarified your gender, it’s true that it is still funny as written. However, the picture I had imagined, while even funnier, is not something I wish to dwell on for fear of it sticking in my brain. :)
#1
LOL. Remember when Closettrekker argued that his checks from Bad Robot keep getting lost in the mail? I didn’t believe him – shame on me…
He gives Star Trek fans a bad name!
67. Decker’s Stubble – February 4, 2009
…65 – What a sad, sad bore you must be at parties.
Gee thanks jerk.
Some others had posted such a thought, I was just contributing. What were you doing?
Are you sure it was a GUY who did this?
When I first heard the news, the first thought that popped into my head was that Winona Ryder had “lifted” a prop from the movie set and was returning to her old habits!
NOT CANON!! The Bat’leth was never seen on TOS.
BTW, Hitch, I happen to live in Colorado Springs! However, I turned 55 the other day and am now eligible for the senior discount at Denny’s. This guy was described as ‘in his 20s’, although I’d love to know what kind of mask (Shat/Myers?) he was wearing.
I have a good alibi from the fierce and honorable woman who lets me live with her, and regrettably, I don’t own a Bat’leth. However, if he wants to use a Wrath of Khan Big E with phaser and photon torp shooting sounds, I guess he could look me up.
Excuse me now — I’m pondering whether to offer my services as consultant to the local law enforcement authorities. (And yes, Trekkers, Colorado can be a STRANGE place!)
Seems like bat’leth swinging has been in the news before… I just can’t remember when, but I think some guy attacked some cops with one or something… it is a neat weapon, I’m not surprised someone would try to use one. Not a real fan like us though… of course we’re all too intelligent and pacifistic to do such a thing…
“If you were any other ma…..uh, look, they’ve got Jerky Stix.”
383
We mustn’t have that. And I like you. You get jokes.
I didn’t do it!!! : )
#88 KissimeeStCloud™,
props to my homeboys in da Springs. and a shout out. You have a most fine hotel right off the 1-25 down there. about 18, 19 years ago we partied down there HARD. so i cant remember tha name, just that it was right off the highway – had an excellent view of things and a wicked bar with hot women who didnt charge. atleast not upfront anyway. See there’s hookers and then there’s wifes and girlfriends. Either way, upfront or balloon payment – and i am talking child supports, bro – they gonna get your money in trade for favors. so everything being equal. apples for apples, orange latte for orange latte.
the funny thing is that if the cops came to me and asked for the 10 weirdest dudes that i have ever associated with here in colorado – odds are that probably one of them was the 7-11 robber. that klingon dude in longmont comes to mind. dude, i’ll just bet. and thats what they call “guilt by association” aka “commiseration with known undesirables”. Guilty as charged, your honor.
THE WOMEN!!
=h=
Sheesh. It’s a guy like this who gives us all a bad name. Actually he ripped a page out of TNG so that’s okay with me.
Ok Guys iam going in there tomorrow with my klingon pink squad and cut him for that Star Track phrase….awwww
rofl
I’m embarassed to be a trekkie today.
I think we can all agree here that the truly evil one was the anchorman.
LOL
This is why I’m a supporter of the Second Amendment :-)
#84 … I heard JJ did in fact write him a check … but then decided it “just didn’t feel right…”
;-)
Shatner.. let it go.. it ain’t happening.. you ain’t in the movie.. leave store clerks alone…
97
Agreed, he’s the real villain
And all the guy really wanted was some prune juice, a warrior’s drink.
this story made me LOL for real!!!
LOVE IT!
when hes caught send him to Rura Pentha!
frederick,
Thanks. Between that, this article and hitch 1969’s posts, kind of a bleak picture.
681. THX-1138 – February 4, 2009
“We’ve got to go on ebay and buy a ba’tleth. Then we travel to Colorado and wear masks of he who shall not be named.”
You guys still love me…doncha? I consider that a hearty salute from the trekmovies chat room. thanks for choosing the hitchworld brand. we appreciate your loyal patronage.
=h=
WTF
Doesn’t the U.S. have a federal social services , anymore ?
KLINGON BASTARDS YOU ROBBED MY QUICKIE MART!
YOU KLINGON BASTARDS . . . !
#106
Don’t be too presumptuous. I was talking about John Elway.
He must be a conservative republican.
Colorado Springs is full of notorious conservatives like Ted Haggard.
#99
Yup:-)…I guess that was *the* mind-blowing moment…
hitch1969: you’re a wild man!!
Actually I seem to recall last episode of Voyager Klingon trying to steal from Admiral Janeway… and don’t forget Kirk stole a Romulan cloaking device, lest we think Klingons are dishonorable for such things…
Maybe Colorado needs to be fenced in like Jurassic Park…
Yeah but if that was really the case, you just named him – “he who shall not be named”. And if that were the case, you could have named John Elway in your original post. Ergo, you are not speaking factually.
Its interesting to see the interwebs equivalent of a trenchcoat mafia in action. Of course, I am talking about the Denver Broncos. Those who shall be named, here in the original post.
In either event, I was touched. I think we all know the score.
=h=
114. rangerone314™ – February 4, 2009
Maybe Colorado needs to be fenced in like Jurassic Park…
read my post 61.
sword…….lol
Okay, LOL!
The weapon I *really* want is the Capellan weapon, the kligat.
It looks stunningly painful to be killed by one. (Those giant 3-sided throwing stars)
It’d be cool to have one that actually works & use it to hunt deer.
Q’pla and come again!!
#118
They only work properly if your intended target is wearing a foam block under his shirt and the kligat is guided by a string.
#115
The score is 6 to 1.
As he ran off did he say, “Kaplaugh!!!” :)
Poopey Pants you crazy SOB what did you do now?????????????????
Here’s a link to our story in The Gazette: http://www.gazette.com/articles/store_47426___article.html/colorado_sword.html
*laughing arse off*
Reading the comments on the Gazette story is even more laugh-inducing than here! The comments left by the non-fans are a scream.
Wait, was that NCC-711 or NCC-O711 !?!?!
Clearly, the second store was being managed by an Organian. That’s why the Klingon ran: his batlh’eH got suddenly very burning hot!
Heres another reason why my home state is so…. stupid. Talk about a serious overcorrection, an overreaction. Beware, Trekkies… your action figures and Meego toys are now all deadly weapons:
“If this individual is arrested, the charge will be the same as if he carried a gun,” Whitlock said. “It’s considered a deadly weapon.”
Colorado cops. Gotta love them. What a bunch of Barney Fifes. Hey howzabout you catch some malcontents talking big on the interwebs who are such shut-in emotional cripples that they might actually DO what they are talking about? They can’t even catch the drunken Longmont Klingon. He uses that “techMology” so advanced that they have to look it up on wiki. And, did wiki say it was a “deadly weapon”? Me, I see 6 near misses on society’s radar of ones to watch, fer shur.
THE WOMEN!!
=h=
123:
Trudy: Thanks for the article, and then finding us here on the site.
Many of us here would conclude that Star Trek was great before “Next Generation,” when it became good. B’atleths are from TNG, so the Colorado robber was certainly not a TOS fan. Probably DS9.
He is without honor.
# 109
Just remember, he didn’t have a Bumpy forehead. It was smooth.He was just another Terran. They didn’t say if he had big ears. Was he a Ferengi?
There is a whole lot of crazy happening on this thread.
Infidelity… Armed (albeit retarded) Robbery… Captain Mike and his version of english.
And here I thought the military was the last great bastion of the crazy! I’m relieved to find out I was greatly mistaken.
SEMPER FI~
Today is a good day…
for a slurpee.
Just think of the criminal possibilities if they had been actively searching for duplicate crime scene weaponry. Or if they had been attempting to get children involved.
The horror.
132… or better yet, a SLUSHO! http://www.slusho.jp !!!
That is so metal
sad, but funny…
What?! There’s a new Star Track movie coming out?! I like Star Track!
Is this 7-11 attack part of a viral campaign?
that is metal… wow
A true warrior would have raided a Federal Reserve Bank.
He brings Dishonor to the House of Trek! petaQ!
Goodness, goodness gracious… (shakes head in astonishment)
Just like a Klingon. Brings a Bat’leth…to a gunfight.
I knew it, you can’t trust those Trekkies!!!
dishonorable
May Fek’lhr drag him kicking and screaming like the petaQ that he is into Gre’thor after he disembarks the Brage of the Dead!
If he pulls a Batleth, you pull a phaser… that’s the federation way!!!
(apologies to Sean Connery)
Ironic, that he being an apparant Star Trek fan would use a Klingon Batleth to commit a crime. Ironic, because (as especially seen in TNG) the Klingon culture centers itself upon the value of honor. In the end, dishonred himself. Shame, shame!
Oh, another glorious chapter in Klingon history. Tell me, do they still sing songs of the Great 7-11 Heist?
123. Trudy Thomas – February 4, 2009
Here’s a link to our story in The Gazette: http://www.gazette.com/articles/store_47426___article.html/colorado_sword.html
Your paper called Kahn a Klingon in the article. He wasn’t. But you’ll get more internet search hits for referencing Ricardo Montalban’s name since he just passed. Very cunning, bosum sister of Duras.
At least he was too much of a wimp to use the bat’leth…
Closet wouldn’t do it; he doesn’t believe in TNG Klingons.
I offer up 4 8 15 16 23 42 as an alternative suspect. Heh heh heh heh heh.
[...] Man Wielding Bat’leth Robs 2 Colorado 7-11s | TrekMovie.com [...]
OH NO! They got me!
Even the Robot Chicken guys couldn’t come up with something as hilarious as the Bat’leth thing.
Now someone has to step up and represent the Federation!
I always had this fantasy of robbing a gas station with a phaser- and getting away with it.
But don’t look at me, I’m just the idea man.
PS- The MR Assault Phaser would probably work fine, but using a TOS phaser would be far more “classic.”
Hahahaha, who does that? Hilarious
It’s pronounced TREK stupid
What a P’tagh!
I wonder what would have happened if the clerk also had a Bat’leth?
Its amazing what George Lucas will do to sabotage the success of the upcoming movie….
Any one notice that The Angry Klingon has yet to comment? Coincidence?
OOOOHHH!! The taquitos are on sale!!!
I can hear it now: “I just KNEW those weirdo Trekkies were dangerous!”
Ugh. :P
A Klingon killed Kirk’s son.
You Klingon sympathizers can stick it!
Stories has been updated qith image and quote from police (thanks to CO Gazette)
He is without honor!
Anchor: Oh yeah Star Track isn’t that the one with Luke Skywalker?
hahaha Bastard
Anyways anybody stop to think about the possibility that this guy doesn’t know anything about trek and in actuality took the Bat Leth from a family member or even just purchased it at one of numerous sword shops etc because he thought it looked bad-ass (which it does) ?
Just a thought…
that is hilarious.
A surveillance camera image. That is priceless.
“A Star Trek looking sword”.
Priceless.
EPIC FAIL. NO HONOR WHATSOEVER. D:
I hope he gets his hands torn off by a TARG. ><
There’s no honor in stealing from pitiful little gas shops run by humans.
167-
anybody … think… that this guy… just purchased it at one of the numerous sword shops,etc…
I picture him going from knife to sword to sword until he got the the Bat Leth and his eyes widened!!!! Apparently they were out of Katanas…
Im pretty sure im going to see this clip on an upcoming episode of Tru TV’s Smoking Guns The World’s Dumbest.
> If you are wondering, you can actually purchase stainless steel Bat’leth swords. KnivesDeal.com offers a number of designs ranging from $30-$75. (TrekMovie does not recommend using Bat’leths for anything except honorable and ceremonial purphoses)
None of those actually look particularly accurate. The first one isn’t a Bat’leth at all, and the “Swords of Kahless” bear almost no resemblance to the prop.
This guy’s lucky neither of the cashiers kept a .38 ‘attention getter’ under the counter with the spare Bic lighters.
He would have been more successful if he had not used a Star Trek-oriented weapon, they might have taken him seriously. Like maybe a sling blade, some call it a kaiser blade, but I call it a sling blade, uh, huh.
I like mustard on those fried taters.
Armed robbery is a stupid crime: the risk is great, the reward is small, and the time is long. However, this is the first time I can recall of a Bat’leth being used as a functional weapon, even though in such a dim-witted endeavor.
Obviously a Star Wars fan, trying to make us Trekkies look bad…
Damn him!
*shakes fist disapprovingly*
#175 – ‘I like mustard on those fried taters.’
I moved from DC to AL in ‘99, and haven’t seen a 7-11 since. Was that an inside joke, or does 7-11 whup up something more than pizza, sweat dogs, and nachos now? Inquiring minds want to know. LOL
My brain is exploding from watching the video. Wow. Just.. wow.
Seems he don’t even know how to hold the bat’leth correctly. A disgrace to Klingons and Trek fans.
I bet it was one of the Duras sisters disgused as a human male and they plan on framing Worf. I hope this doesn’t spark a civil war on Kronos.
The bat’leth is the stupidest weapon to come from Star Trek, and it’s terrible that they assigned it to a race that’s supposed to be fearsome and warrior-like. It doesn’t help the fact that most Klingons were bad actors (in TNG at least) and monotonal.
A ridiculous weapon. You can’t duel with one of these things; it just turns around in your hands, and then what are you left with??
Stupid! Still, props for trying to use one in an armed robbery. I bet if push had come to shove, he’d have come out looking stupid!
Bah! This p’thaq is using but a children’s toy! That is no warrior’s bat’leth! He is a coward.
Doesn’t look to me exactly as an Bat’leth. Anyway he might be bringing a Bat’leth to a disruptor fight.
#177… a little dialog from Carl in “Slingblade,” starring Billy Bob Thornton. He used a slingblade (some called it a kaiser blade) to kill his slutty mother, and he liked mustard on his “french fried taters.”
184
“Mmmm Hmmm”
Interesting to see all the variations in this story of the word B’Tok… or however its spelled lol
“Star Track”?
Is it REALLY that hard to pronounce “Trek”?
whoever found this should send it into failblog.org
Star Track… *shudders*
Is it really that hard to say Star TREK? So many people say “track”, it really bugs the crap outta me.
Cash? Priceless. Mmmmmm Hmmmmm. Ha Ha? Priceful of lessness. Let it never be said that nobody ever said nothin good about Klingons. I feel this was a poor, lonely, down-on-his-luck, non-violent Klingon who only wanted something priceless. Mmmmmm Hmmmmm.
yes it IS.
@ 176.
I agree. Clearly it was some Star Wars fanatic trying to make Trekkies look bad.
He fled on foot? A Klingon warrior never runs. Coward.
I’m speechless. A part of me laughed out loud, another part of me is apalled. Either way, it’s surreal.
I hope they never catch this Klingon robber. These are my feelings at this point. The authorities and media here are so hopelessly embarrassing.
Can’t they put on a professional face for once? I hope this Klingon robber continues to make them look like the OOFUSes and OAFS that they are. I hope he’s sitting a Dunkin Donuts with his Bat’leh right in front of the cops as they buy their donuts. Did you catch that news report? I think I saw him walking around casually in the background.
God I am so ashamed to be from here. its bad when hitch1969 actually makes colorado look good.
ay caramba. the women.
=h=
22–the way i see it is the dishonorable part was dishonoring the bat’leth and the trek community by using a piece of trek memorabilia to rob a lowend convienience store…my Kahless if the guy was gonna rob some place using a bat’leth at least make it a bank! i’m nit condoning crime here but no honorable klingon warrior would pillage a place where the spoils are worthless or near nonexistent…such would disgrace his house AND the Empire…dear Kahless he makes even Duras seem honorable by comparison!
I say good for him. At least someone other than paramount is profiting from this obsession they’ve created.
Suddenly I feel MUCH less geeky now. Thanks bat’leth 7-11 guy!
MAKES MY DAY A WHOLE LOT BETTER
MY 7-11 STORE WAS RECENTLY REMODELED AND WOULD MAKE A MORE APPRPOIATE SETTING BEING LOOKS VERY TOS WITH A BIG RED LINE ACROSS THE WALLS
Dishonorable patak!
What an ass.
Sword of honour… robbing a corner shop…
MUST… RESTRAIN… JOKES… ABOUT… IRONY…
(clutches head)
aw, it was a knockoff
http://www.swordsnknife.com/movie-swords/12-star-trek-klingon-batleth/prod_579.html
You call THAT a bat’leth? Maybe for a Klingon in pre-school!
Would he still get the deadly weapon charge if it was plastic or styrofoam. That would be hilarious.
This robber is portrayed as the villain in this piece. But I rather think he may be the victim. Quite obviously, he has found, and consequently been corrupted by, the sword of Kahless. In the hands of a warrior other than the legendary Kahless, the sword will only divide the empire; and breed inestimable distrust, suspicion, and pride in the warrior who wields the fabled bat’leth.
The Empire should quickly dispatch a few Dahar masters to catch this guy…
Toral has made his way to Earth and , in his scheming to reconquer the empire and regain honor for the House of Duras, has been forced to raise some capital. His aunts sold Bilitrium and Trilithium explosives to terrorists… Toral robs quickie marts.
Oh how the House of Duras has fallen.
I doubt this guy was a trekie at all. He is holding the bat’leth backwards. This would be like holding a sword by the blade or a gun by the barrel. Imagine trying to hold up a 7-11 that way.
This story has hit the national news. Just heard it on a FOX News radio report.
Bah…not even a bat’leth. That’s one of those Ebay one handed pseudo bat’leth wannabes….a flea market special.
I can’t believe they even called it a bat’leth, the size is all wrong, only a foot or two in length vs 4-6 feet, and the shape was wrong too. Looks more like what our local knife shop advertises as an “ancient chinese warrior weapon” lol.
207, its a knockoff designed backwards. he’s holding it correctly.
Sorry but surely this is all part of JJ’s Viral Marketting Campaign!?
No?
Looks more like what Worf would clean his nails with.
Decloaking . . .
Evil Trekkies! Everytime I think I’ve seen everything . . . ?????
But then again, a Trekkster would know how to wield a Bat’leth properly.
Must be a trekkie wannabe.
Recloaking. }:-D>
This incident gives “Trekkers” a bad name. I hope they catch this scumbag before he dishonors his family yet again.
Ka’plah! (Is that how you spell it?)
That’s not a Bat’leth! It’s one of those cheap knockoff look-alikes from Kit Rae or something. Definitely not a sword of Kahless!
Too bad the clerk didn’t have a phaser.
If he’s captured He should be condemned to spend the rest of his natural life mining dilithium on Rura Penthe with all the other scum of the Alpha and Beta Quadrant
#1—”I’ve been wondering where Closettrekker’s been…”
Lmao.
Life on the run is tough. The police (and Starfleet security) are everywhere.
Seriously, you should know better. I am not a fan of TNG-era Klingons, or their weaponry and ships.
Now—if he had a fu-manchu and a disruptor pistol (and started into orbit in a classic battlecruiser— I might have been a more logical suspect!
:)
Did he beam out, or was his escape more conventional?
#151—”Closet wouldn’t do it; he doesn’t believe in TNG Klingons.”
Now here’s a man who uses his noggin.
#219
“Now—if he had a fu-manchu and a disruptor pistol (and started into orbit in a classic battlecruiser— I might have been a more logical suspect!”
Or the little known, seldom used, Klingon battle knife, the Ka’ Bar!
#221—-Ooorah!
I would have went much simpler. What’s wrong with a good old fashioned M16 Service rifle and a couple of 30 round magazines of deadly 5.56mm ammunition???
This is my rifle. There are many like it, but this one is mine. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me my rifle is useless. Without my rifle, I am useless. I must fire my rifle true. I must shoot straighter than the enemy who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will…
…My rifle is human, even as I am human, because it is my life. Thus, I will learn it as a brother. I will learn its weaknesses, its strengths, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel. I will keep my rifle clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready. We will become part of each other.
Before God I swear this creed. My rifle and I are the defenders of my country. We are the masters of our enemy. We are the saviors of my life.
So be it, until victory is America’s and there is no enemy…but peace…and death.
Semper Fi.
#214 – He is obviously a loyal trekker who has somehow crossed dimensions from the Mirror Universe… I bet if the security cam caught his face he’d have a goatee.
222
oorah! Impressive memory there, brother. Rifle goes over cutting weapon one time, with nothing left over. Check and mate. I still miss the .45.
Never less than an expert. 247+ everytime at the range, on the old point scale. Deadeye!
Gotta admit the Ka’Bar gag was pretty clever, if I do say so meself.
Wpw 224 posts for this?
Either that guy’s pretty dang big or that’s a wee little batlh’etlh.
Decloaking . . .
222. Closett, damn man, that Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children brainwashing is really effective! Your grandfather would be proud!!
Even us old Army grunts still carry the Ka’Bar.
Ooorah, er, I mean Who-ah!
Recloaking. }:-D>
First Worf (Dutch Boy Version)
Now this. My how the Klingon star has fallen.
#222 sez “Without my rifle, I am useless.”
What a depressing thing to include in a creed :/
I love living in Colorado… I am sure our Trek Con (Starfest) is going to get some coverage in April if they don’t catch this guy…
229
“#222 sez “Without my rifle, I am useless.”
What a depressing thing to include in a creed :/”
But it has the virtue of being true, should one find oneself, and one’s friends, in a certain situation.
#229—”What a depressing thing to include in a creed :/”
If taken out of context, it might sound that way. But that creed is something meant to indoctrinate a young would-be Marine as to how important it is to maintain his weapon, in or out of combat. It also is meant to emphasize the importance of marksmanship skill.
One shot. One kill.
It is perfectly understandable for civilians to judge us as frightful or even imbalanced (hence the Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children/USMC acronym affectionately bestowed upon us by our Army brethren). But funny how that all disappears in favor of collective pride when we are deemed to be needed in an emergency.
An evil? Perhaps. But a necessary one.
Semper Fidelis.
232 “…It is perfectly understandable for civilians to judge us as frightful or even imbalanced (hence the Uncle Sam’s Misguided Children/USMC acronym affectionately bestowed upon us by our Army brethren). But funny how that all disappears in favor of collective pride when we are deemed to be needed in an emergency.
An evil? Perhaps. But a necessary one.”
Hear, hear. Well said, as usual. As Col.Jessup said (in an unfortunate film), “You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall.”
Here’s health to you and to our Corps
Which we are proud to serve;
In many a strife we’ve fought for life
And have never lost our nerve;
If the Army and the Navy
Ever look on Heaven’s scenes;
They will find the streets are guarded
By United States Marines..
Thing is, it’s actually a pretty wussy little Bat’leth …
Seth Myers actually had a funny line on SNL about this last night. He said that at least we know the guy wasn’t stealing condoms. Ha.
Isn’t he holding that bat’leth backwards?
Too much bloodwine for this guy.
COloradians sane?
Trek people sane?
…
Brian Bonsall, anyone?
I was very saddened to have to read over 200 posts before seeing that someone else FINALLY realized that the weapon in the robber’s hand is not an actual Star Trek Bat’leth blade, but a mere minature knockoff that is being passed as one. To me, an avide sword collecter and fighter, it is considered a double-sided dagger (as only being about 12-14 inches in length).
Shame on those of you “trekkies” out there who didn’t seem to make this connection. Then again, leave it to local media to air something on live television before doing any type of proper research on it.