Spork! A NSFW K/S Audio Edit | TrekMovie.com
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Spork! A NSFW K/S Audio Edit December 21, 2009

by TrekMovie.com Staff , Filed under: Fan Productions,Humor , trackback

Since the 60s, fan fiction has been a big part of Star Trek fan culture. A popular subset of fanfic is ‘slash’ fiction, or romantic stories pairing two characters. Now a creative fan has taken this to a new level with an audio edit of the Star Trek 2009 audio book narrated by Zachary Quinto, which now tells a wholly different story. If you are into that kind of thing, you can listen below. NOTE this is not for everyone and is not safe for work.

 

Spork! An Erotic Love Story

WARNING: Adult material

[CLIP REMOVED DUE TO CBS COPYRIGHT CLAIM]

Spork! is the work of Needs More Drum Machine on Live Journal, where you can read a full transcript if you like.

[h/t to io9]

K/S Classic parody – Brokeback Trek

We have come this far, why not some more. Back when all those Brokeback Mountain parodies were all the rage in 2007, YouTuber Zebonka came up with this one with the original Kirk and Spock. Again, adult themes (thanks for the link Daniel).

 

Comments

1. TrekDude - December 21, 2009

I don’t see any humour in that….

2. Chuck Watters - December 21, 2009

What is the purpose of this ?

3. Aceman67 - December 21, 2009

*shudder*

DO NOT WANT! DO NOT WANT!

4. Xeos - December 21, 2009

Its funny satire? Kirk/Spock romance jokes have been around since before the internet.

5. Penhall99 - December 21, 2009

I’ve never understood all these fan productions/literature (that have been around since the beginning of Trek) about Kirk and Spock being lovers….Just kinda weird, but thats just my opinion. And no, I’m not a biggot. I just never understood the humor of it or appeal.

6. tt - December 21, 2009

haha this is hilarious!! Someone should do this with one of the shatner books!

7. nerefir - December 21, 2009

This is what you cover now? Slash fiction?

8. Daniel Broadway - December 21, 2009

This is the best one ever. The editing is brilliant…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xSOuLky3n0

9. anonymous - December 21, 2009

I’m so impressed by how well-done this is. The amount of work that had to have gone into sifting through an 8-hour audio book in order to construct this fairly elaborately-told gay erotic narrative is astounding. I just wish I could think of someone to show this to!

BTW, are the two videos posted above supposed to be exactly the same??

10. Andy - December 21, 2009

Talk about boldly going!!!! HILARIOUS!!!!!

11. Lt. Liz - December 21, 2009

I don’t support or write the stuff, but whenever I’m in a sick state of mind and need a laugh… I’ll find something like this and just laaaaaaaauuugh…

12. Dr. X - December 21, 2009

THIS IS AWESOME!

13. Denise de Arman - December 21, 2009

Anthony, you really ought to link to the Closer (Nine Inch Nails) video on YouTube. It has gotten over 1,000,000 hits and is the ultimate in editing and audio/video production.

By the way, the above was awesome – thanks for covering it!

14. Happy Russia - December 21, 2009

That’s fantastic. Probably one of the funniest audio edits I’ve ever heard. And such a slash pairing is never too absurd, being a fan and author of it.

That little edit sure did supply a good belly laugh from me, excellent job!

15. somethoughts - December 21, 2009

feel violated

16. Alex - December 21, 2009

Both of them were really funny – you really have to acknowledge the amount of work that went into it. The one thing I don’t quite get, however: are we (or the target audience for that sort of fiction) supposed to take that first one serious?

17. Scott Gammans - December 21, 2009

*rolleyes* Some people just don’t have a sense of humor. This is awesome!! LOL!!!

18. I'm Dead Jim - December 21, 2009

Very funny, yet maybe not appropriate for here. I know I know. We were warned but that’s just like rolling out the red carpet to the less mature audiences. Oh, never mind. We’re already here!

I do prefer Brokeback Trek. It’s more about the bromance than the graphic sex. I don’t mind two men deeply loving each other in that way but I don’t want t hear about the details.

19. I'm Dead Jim - December 21, 2009

13. Denise de Arman – December 21, 2009

Anthony, you really ought to link to the Closer (Nine Inch Nails) video on YouTube.
_____________________

Yeah, I just watched that. Very well done indeed!

20. Dennis Bailey - December 21, 2009

That is some wild sound splicing. LOL

21. TrekkieJan - December 21, 2009

That was an impressive audio edit! And a great laugh!
As for K/S slash, you non-slashers can give us a break. A lot of the subtext in the show was intentional. You can’t blame us for picking up on it and running with it! I think its the most romantic show on TV ever.

22. Losira - December 21, 2009

Not sure about this I just saw a site called Archer/Reed of the same format. I’m trying to be opened an enlighened. But I find myself in Beverly Crusher’s shoes when her trill lover the ambassader became a woman after the symbiant’s fatal host accident. I’m accepting of friends and family. But not so close as myself or my closes souls Kirk/Spock sinc 1966. I have to think about this.

23. Eli - December 21, 2009

Okay, the audio book edit made me throw up in my mouth a little bit, but that Broke Trek parody was genius!

24. Noway - December 21, 2009

So, isn’t this piracy if you’re re-purposing copyrighting Paramount material? Way to feed the beast, Trekmovie

25. Julie - December 21, 2009

You should watch “The Ship’s Closet” on youtube. It explores the Kirk/Spock relationship in some depth – and is hilarious as well. There’s even a part about how Roddenberry based them on Greek warrior/lovers.

26. Trekboi - December 21, 2009

thanks for covering this stuff Anthony- slow news day or not there is a whole sideshow of fandom that have been around just as long as the more respectable “Trekkers” that never get any attention.

They are cleaver & funny & interesting, but politics always keep them in the closet.
the only ones that irk me are the supernatural slash fiction because… well need i go on, but Kirk/Spock bring it on- lol .

27. CmdrR - December 21, 2009

A five year mission is a long, long time.

28. Trekboi - December 21, 2009

Inter-species relations never looked so good- lol

29. paustin - December 21, 2009

lol awww come on …this is funny stuff

30. Joel1245 - December 21, 2009

Um…I’ll pass. I hate this kind of stuff. Might as well just kick me in the stomach. That’s just as fun as watching this trash.

31. Denise de Arman - December 21, 2009

Um…Anthony DID post a memo which stated that those easily offended should not watch, so if you feel you were just punched in the stomach, you have no one but yourself to blame…

32. nonymoose - December 21, 2009

Kirk/Spock never did float my boat, old or new-school.

Now, Kirk/McCoy in the new movie, that’s a whole other story…

33. iams001efni - December 21, 2009

wow this is embarrassing to listen too. lol

34. anon st fan - December 21, 2009

To anybody who feels ‘violated’ – allow me a quick moment to get out the world’s smallest violin (no one told you-you had to listen to it).

And it’s just a couple of fans having fun. I think a lot of the humor is in how flowery the descriptions and sentences are in this audio!fic. Well… that, and it’s in Zachary Quinto’s voice. xD LOL

35. That One Guy - December 21, 2009

Wow… it’s like the Chat section of the site is being narrated by Quinto.

36. Capt. Roykirk - December 21, 2009

I’m sure I had posted a comment. Must have been deleted. As mine usually are.

37. Justice Boy - December 21, 2009

Shat & Nimoy I guess I can put up with because it was pretty funny.

But please don’t drag Pine & Quinto into the mess!

38. Losira - December 21, 2009

Don’t worry you made it this time roykirk! But I still have to think about this

39. AJ - December 22, 2009

36: TOG:

“Be careful what you wish for. You may get it.”

40. Dom - December 22, 2009

Slashfic has always been pathetic and the Kirk/Spock stuff the most boring and clichéd of the lot!

41. Mark Lynch - December 22, 2009

It just is not funny.

42. 'Beach - December 22, 2009

39:

What’s all the commotion about?

This pales in comparison to some of our stuff…

43. Denise de Arman - December 22, 2009

Beach#42- Too true. As a matter of fact, AJ just wrote a new one yesterday about Kirk and Spock having phone sex. Everyone here should check out the Chat section of the site for more hilarious fictional literature.

44. Capt Mike of the Terran Empire - December 22, 2009

Who ever wrote this needs about 72 hours in the Agoniser Booth and the Agoniser booth needs to be at full power. That was just plain stupid.

45. HiTrek Redneck - December 22, 2009

This is SOOO wrong…. Funny, but wrong….. :-)

46. shatner in the sky with diamonds - December 22, 2009

I regret clicking on this article. lol. But I’ve always hated the erotic fan fiction, seems disrespectful of Trek to me, at least the more extreme and trashy stuff. *rolls eyes*

47. 'Beach - December 22, 2009

43:

Are you finding it as easy to distinguish the narrow from the open? Watch yourself. It’s raining phobohomia all over this thread…

48. Joshua J. Slone - December 22, 2009

OK, the “torrent of tightly contained tornadic plasma” is too much. :)

49. Zebonka - December 22, 2009

Holy cow, my video!!

Thanks TrekMovie!

50. Julie - December 22, 2009

At the library where I run teen programs, most of the teen fans are really into K/S. Of course, a large percentage of Trek fans have always been LGBT. Looking at an old photo of the local Trek fan club 9 out of 15 members have now come out as LGBT.

51. R. F. Crowson - December 22, 2009

These were great! amazing editing from both these guys. hahah.

52. Captain Irving - December 22, 2009

Shudder. Shudder. I need to clean my ears out. I can’t believe mr Quinton would actually do such a thing. Lol. Eww. It would have been better if it was sulu thrusting into Kirk.

53. Lieutenant - December 22, 2009

Second one was hilarious! Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see the first one because of copyright. :(

54. Edgar Governo - December 22, 2009

Well, it’s always possible to find this sort of thing in Star Trek if you go looking for it…my own blog has had an “Unusual Slashy Lines” series devoted to TOS for a while now. ;)

55. AJ - December 22, 2009

It’s been removed! Everybody! Run for your lives!

56. Captain Stark - December 22, 2009

While it is somewhat humourous, I don’t think it was really appropriate to be here on this specific site. That’s just my opinion, but I have been known to be wrong in the past. Just adding my two cents worth.

57. Trekluver - December 22, 2009

Ok the TNG one was funny but this? This was sick even with the warnings. You people at trekmovie.com should be ashamed, and you guys actually have to find this to put it up here…

58. xmen - December 22, 2009

You people do get Quinto didn’t do this. People online did and the cowards instead of coming on here and owning up to it allowed Quinto to take the hit for something they did which makes them sleezy and cowards.

59. The Galactic Battleburger - December 22, 2009

The video has been taken down. Anybody know of another link to it?

60. AJ - December 22, 2009

58:

xmen:

It was quite clear that this was a spliced mash taken from Foster’s audiobook. I am of the opinion Quinto would have had a good laugh hearing the K/S version of the story.

While the opinions here have been stated pro and con without too much teeth-gnashing, it begs the question: To what extent does Trekmovie.com want to cover fandom?

K/S is a venerable part of Trek fandom, and has been for decades. It was published in fanzines throughout the TOS syndication days, and was written primarily by female fans of the series. GR acknowledged its existence in the late ’70s, and actually tried to bring the Kirk-Spock relationship into sharper non-sexual focus with his concept of making them soulmates without the sexual connotations. He gave it a name in the TMP novelization, but I’ve forgotten it. He certainly acknowledges that they love each other.

The K/S literature out there can make a normal person gag. It can get serious to the point of sheer absurd comedy. I read one where Spock was making fart sounds with his mouth on Kirk’s belly, and I never went back.

That’s why these light-hearted romps are great for those who can read/watch explicit material without feeling guilty. We write them in CHAT all the time just to amuse ourselves. Each Trek series presents its own fun potential scenarios.

But it IS an active part of Trekdom. Trekmovie should cover it. And once the warning is put out, it’s up to you whether or not to click on it.

61. xmen - December 22, 2009

I don’t think it was clear that Quinto was not involved. There are replies that clearly show that and the people who created it had it on their shoulders to make it clear that is not true. Quinto finding it funny is not issue, and I bet he would, but that have no point in the discussion. The failure of the creators to make it about them and not hide being ‘Oh he would fund it funny’ is the issue. I highly doubt he would find funny the endless anti gay and some anti Quinto comments it sparked that the creators appear to have been clueless enough to not know that would happen and gutless enough not to address or care.

62. Michael - December 22, 2009

WTF!???????????????? Every time I see a new story on Trekmovie, I’m @ work..I get home and CBS has pullled it! These bastards need to just stop!
Do these execs and lawyers need to spend more time getting laid too, rather than spoiling people’s fun off the net?

63. Callie K. - December 22, 2009

“Now, Kirk/McCoy in the new movie, that’s a whole other story…”

This. This is where my heart lies. Yes, please!

64. Callie K. - December 22, 2009

@xmen

While I’m here…

” I highly doubt he would find funny the endless anti gay and some anti Quinto comments it sparked that the creators appear to have been clueless enough to not know that would happen and gutless enough not to address or care.”

Not only was this fully identified as a parody edit when posted, it was made for a community of seven thousand members (ontd_startrek), a constantly active fan community on livejournal. As it was posted there and intended for that community, the creators of the video have no responsibility for trekmovie.com’s choice to link the video from their website.

It may scare you that there are thousands of women out there who enjoy Star Trek on their own terms and are not beholden to the male side of the fandom fandom for anything, least of all what they find hilarious. However, nobody has the responsibility to come hold your hand about it. I’m not certain how you find it gutless that the creators of a video enjoyed by several thousand people have not personally come to the website you visit to explain their intentions to you.

65. xmen - December 22, 2009

LOL you don’t know what you are talking grow up and climb off fthe horse try not be so being full of hot air and rude. Don’t assume a damn thing. Every detail in your pointless reply was so far off reality it isn’t funny.
I read slash
I happen to be active in the fight for female rights
And nothing about this nonsense scared me but the gutless nature of what you are to weak to reply to, that the creators of this never grasped that many anti gay comments would follow this. As a passionate supporter of gays right, your childish reply would be funny if not harmful. Don’t use the issue for cheap reactions on the Internet and not address the real harm done to some young gay teenager who may have read some of the uglier replies. And don’t pull out the martyr female card it is sleezy to use gender issue when discussing this. SInce the gender of the creator isn’t important.

66. Callie K. - December 22, 2009

So, wait, and I’m speaking as a lesbian and feminist here, since you appear to think we need to put our credentials on the table…you think a community should not take joy in subverting rigidly defined and unrealistic notions of the heteronormative mainstream mindset for our humor (and, in this case, show how easily such things /can/ be subverted)…because other people might say something mean and ignorant?

While slash is written and enjoyed by some gay men, it’s generally written and enjoyed by women who run the gamut of sexual preferences. So, rather than a homosexual issue I think, yes, this is a gender issue and the gender of the creator is important in this case because negative attitudes toward m/m fiction, art and, yes, parody created for the enjoyment of women is certainly an aspect of the suppression and ghettoization of women’s creative work. (An excellent book on this subject in general is “How To Suppress Women’s Writing” by Joanna Russ.)

I do not believe women should stop writing slash fanfiction and creating slash for the enjoyment of the community because people will make anti-gay comments about it. Absolutely not. And, I don’t think it’s a choice between the gay community, which I am a part of, and the slash community, which I am a part of. The negative reactions toward either are attempts to stultify non-heteronormative expressions of sexuality.

While many members of the slash community are gay rights activists, as well, you can’t blame the slash community for other people being ignorant homophobes. That is solely the responsibility of the homophobic individual who is certainly not going to stop being homophobic just because you put an end to the slash community’s creative freedom and creative efforts.

67. Callie K. - December 22, 2009

You know, I lost a part of this sentence:

While many members of the slash community are gay rights activists, as well, you can’t blame the slash community for other people being ignorant homophobes.

It was supposed to be:

While many members of the slash community are gay rights activists, as well, even if not a single one of them was a gay rights activist you can’t blame the slash community for other people being ignorant homophobes.

68. Callie K. - December 22, 2009

As I go to bed, and just to thoroughly spam the comments here, I also want to apologize to any slash enjoying straight men I may have left out in my generalization, including my own often-sporting friends who’ve even read some of my fanfiction and the guys who hung out with their girlfriends and watched the yaoi at the midnight screenings at Anime Weekend Atlanta back ten years ago. :)

69. trekologist - December 22, 2009

HAHAHAHAHAHAH! EXCELLENT! So THAT’s how Kirk and SPOCK became LIFE LONG FRIENDS! HMMMM?

70. Anthony Thompson - December 23, 2009

The first one doesn’t work. But the second one is hilarious!

71. when two people love each other - December 23, 2009

K/S is totally an important part of the Star Trek mythos stretching back decades, and should not be disregarded as trash. As I understand it, the term “slash” for that type of fanfic came from K/S.

I’m sure there’s an active LGBT community within the Star Trek world. I believe they were screaming for a gay rights episode from TNG on and never got it. Paramount just wouldn’t take the chance. Isn’t that what sci-fi does best? Take social issues and dress them up with ray guns and explosions so they go down easier? At least Whoopi changed her line from “when a man and a woman love each other” to “when two people love each other.”

Somewhere I think Roddenberry said that in the future, humanity is just past gender binaries and sexual orientations. There would be no reason to specifically address someone’s sexual orientation because it would be like talking about their shoe size. So all your favorite characters are at least bi.

72. Buzz Cagney - December 23, 2009

In the novelisation of TMP Roddenberry addresses the close relationship between Kirk and Spock head on. How some of their peers figured they were so close they must be a couple. Kirk responds by saying he has heard the rumours and has nothing against any form of mutual love but found his greatest satisfaction from women. Doesn’t say if he ever dallied in the love which ‘dare not speak its name’! I’m guessing not.

73. Nata - December 23, 2009

Links to the 1st video:

1) Why not go to original post made for this big and lively Star Trek fandom LJ community – this post was linked in this Trekmovie article itself:

http://community.livejournal.com/ontd_startrek/1043908.html

It contains the new location of this video.

2) It is also copied here: http://theflickcast.com/2009/12/23/zachary-quinto-narrates-hilarious-star-trek-slashfic/
3) And here: http://www.joblo.com/index.php?id=30124

I’m with those grateful to Anthony Pascale for putting up this article acknowledging this part of the fandom.

Yes, some fans see the story of Kirk and Spock as a romance rather than a bromance – and so what? Roddenberry himself said that their affection was sufficient enough for that. It is a fandom which gave birth to slash, after all.
It’s an epic and inspiring love story – no matter how someone interprets this love. And doesn’t ST teach us tolerance, IDIC etc.?

So please no hate!
If you don’t like it – don’t click on it. The article had ample warnings.
But if you’ve clicked it, please don’t insult K/S fans – they spend as much love and enthusiasm and money on ST as any other fan.

And the edit itself was masterfully done and very funny.
I only wish they’ve put up a better disclaimer so it would have been clearer it’s not Quinto himself who did it.

74. Excuse Me - December 23, 2009

The original link was taken down due to copywrite infringement. Posting additional links to skit that is the same as pirates who post links to other copywrited things like movies.

Trekmovie.com should never have been involved in this to start with as it was an obvious copywrite issue. All links in this thread should be removed.

75. Nata - December 23, 2009

@74: I don’t think it’s a copyright infringement, it comes under a fair use as it is an interpretive work only citing the original source, like any fanfiction.

CBS asked to delete it out of reflex but if those fans would ever wish to challenge that they would mostly likely win.

There are zillions of interpretive works being made every day such as fan videos, fan art, fan fiction. As far as no profit being made and there are disclaimers for that, it’s OK.

76. Excuse Me - December 23, 2009

Callie K said “Not only was this fully identified as a parody edit when posted, it was made for a community of seven thousand members (ontd_startrek), a constantly active fan community on livejournal. As it was posted there and intended for that community, the creators of the video have no responsibility for trekmovie.com’s choice to link the video from their website.”

There is a REASON we have copywright laws. The creator’s responsibility was that they used COPYWRITED material to fit their little agenda. Because your group is 7 thousand strong.. or 7 million strong does not allow you to break copywright laws. CBS/Paramount had the original link removed. That is their right. Supporting and publicizing it is very much the same as any other copywright violation like pirating ST2009.

Trekmovie should should acknowledge their mistake in publicizing the blatant copywright infringement remove it and get back to the basics… letting us enjoy actual (and legal) Star Trek content.

77. Excuse Me - December 23, 2009

@75: I’m glad you don’t think it’s a copywright infringement. I’m sure you are well qualified as an internet lawyer. There is a large difference between writing your own fan fiction and using a copywrited characters image and voice to do so. Particularly when the owner believes such useage could be damaging to it’s property.

Continued linking to files that CBS/Paramount has had removed due to copywright infrigement is very much against everything I thought this site was about.

78. David Tester - December 23, 2009

I am DEEPLY offended as a Gay American that you would discrace our Start Trek Legends in such a horrible way……..YEAH RIGHT!……It was hilarious, and good editing and I am a Gay American and thought it was funny as hell!…We all need to learn now to take a joke!!!!!!!! We are Human; folks and being funny is part of it!

79. Zebonka - December 23, 2009

@ 77

It is painfully embarrassing to read your comments.

80. James L - December 24, 2009

@79 Actually the guy is dead on. What other instance has this site EVER not honored a copyrite claim by the creators of Star Trek?

81. *sigh* - December 25, 2009

Instead of having the copyright hullabaloo on this thread, maybe ya’ll should take it somewhere with people who know something about the legal precedence of mashups, or, less importantly but still relevantly, similar instances where CBS stopped challenging this sort of creation when they themselves were challenged. (Think ECC when they sampled Dan Rather to create a new work: http://www.law.cornell.edu/copyright/fall2000/topic06/discussion_position06b.htm and http://www.law.cornell.edu/copyright/fall2000/topic6.htm)

There reasons why the mashup would and would not be copyright infringement and you’re all just yelling “infringement”/”not infringement” as if those terms have any meaning without backing evidence. It’s not an argument or a discussion of copyright and infringement; rather, it’s just folks yelling that they know better or more than the other person. There are plenty of good topics to discuss regarding the work without e-lawyers of all positions jumping in. XD

82. Excuse Me - December 25, 2009

@81

Since when has Trekmovie.com not honored a Copyright request from the owners of StarTrek? Is there any other instance where a Copywright infringement claim was made and Trekmovie did not honor it?

This is the only one… and for some reason they remove the video with an acknowledgement that “[CLIP REMOVED DUE TO CBS COPYRIGHT CLAIM]” but left the link below it active to another instance of the same clip.. as well as allowing other posters to link to instances of the clip in their messages.

Just like #75 above you can argue all you want about the validity of the request… or you can honor the request by the owners of the StarTrek material being used.

There were other instances where videos on this site were removed due to a copyright claim… they were simply removed. No one posted backdoor information to get around the claim.

Again.. this isn’t an argument about what copywright infringement is. It is a statement that says we should honor the request of the owners of Star Trek unless there is a damn good reason given for us not to. just like happened in all the prior instances. What makes this one special?

83. Jerry Payne - December 25, 2009

This is a well done parody.

84. MvRojo - December 27, 2009

81. At the last firm I worked at, I had to go through Youtube clips and note all the posts I could that included copyrighted materials of our client, including mash-ups, and high school performances of a musical version.

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