Great Links: Cruelest Star Trek Deaths + Recasting TNG & DS9 + Everyday Enterprises + Trek in British Politics + more

In the last week or so there has been a lot Star Trek-related stuff burbling around the interweb, so it seems a good time to bring back The Great Links and ponder Trek’s cruelest deaths, recast TNG & DS9, find everyday Enterprises, and court martial Kirk. All that and more (including the British PM invoking Trek to critique his opposition).

 

Cruelest deaths in Trek?

Topless Robot counts down the 15 cruelest deaths in Star trek history.

Recasting TNG and DS9

Our friends at UGO have pondered the notions of What if JJ Abrams rebooted the 24th century of Trek with two articles recasting TNG and DS9: JJ Abrams Reboots Deep Space Nine? & JJ Abrams Reboots The Next Generation?

Everyday Enterprise objects

SciFi Wire sees: 22 ordinary things that look like the Starship Enterprise.

VIDEO of the week: Captain Kirk’s Court Martial

The Bad Panda Video Blog puts together this mashup imagining that Starfleet may just wonder what happened to all those red shirts.

More links:

Thanks to Allister for the BBC tip

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Christina Hendricks as Dr. Crusher. Oh yeah!

Regarding the youtube clip, I’ve always loved the way the stuntman fell off of the transporter platform (1:07 in the clip.) It looks like he really took a beating. I forget the episode name — can someone help?

The roof of the Jefferson Memorial always reminds of the bridge deck of the 1701A.

@2…wasn’t that Catspaw?

The DS9 reboot cast wasn’t bad, the TNG one was plain stupid

…. Worf as a big fat guy, Chris Rock as Gowron, Black dude as Riker… ROFL LMAO

I had also forgotten how gruesome TNG sometimes was :D
but kewl!

4. Yeah, I think so. Great fall.

I’m 19 years old and I want to say… DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT REBOOTING EITHER SERIES!!!!!!!!!! They are both good and the original cast can alway come back and do animated episodes.

The cruel deaths list was spot on

*Sigh*

Have I ever told you I HATE reboots?!?

I prefer to preserve (ENT S4), build on (TNG S1), reinterpret (if necessary TNG S1-2, TWOK) or in rare cases, reinforce the foundations (TMP, ENT S1-3).

There should be no excuse for abandoning, tearing down, torching with a flamethrower or blowing up.

Yeah, I’m looking at you messers Abrams, Orci & Kurtzman! :(

In regards to Lietenant Branson being “sucked right through into the expanse of space”…

“Blown out, sir. It’s a common mistake.”

The Young Turks? Really trekmovie? C’mon, stick to organizations that deal in facts, if politics is where you really want to go. Don’t give propaganda machines more publicity.

For crew members Dying. I think Lt. Remick was the worst. He was taken over by a Alien Parasite and then his head exploded by Picards and Rikers Phasers. Yuk. But kinda cool. No need to reboot Tng or DS9. I say make Enterprise but skip ahead some get to the Romulan Wars and make it a little gritty but with the same zeal as TOS. Thta is what is needed. Come on Bob Orci. We all know you have it in you.

About the gruesome Star Trek deaths, specifically Tuvix, yes his “death” was sad, but what about Tuvok or Neelix? Were they not condemned if Tuvix remained? He claims that they would be retained in him, but that sounds very Borg like if you know what I mean.

Lt. J.G. Van Mayter . She apparently “died” with her lights on.

The DS9 reboot idea was mostly terrible; didn’t bother to look at the TNG one. (Though I see Paul Bettany as Picard; that’s actually not too bad.)

But seriously, MALIN AKERMAN as Jadzia Dax?! Good grief.

I love how they automatically cast black actors for “black” characters but keep casting black actors for “white” characters. Reverse racism! How about some imagination? Why not a man to play Guinan or a Motion Capture alien creation (since she is an alien)? Why another Brit for Picard? He’s supposed to be French! Why can’t a cuacasian, asian or latin actor play Geordi? Why can’t Wesley be a girl? Why not do Data as MC, so the character won’t age from film to film – and Brent could even come back & do the voice! The extent of their imagination is to recast “white” characters with black actors.

@15: Funny, GR originally had Wesley as a girl named Leslie in early TNG development.

15 & 16. You’re both wrong. The NEW Wesley must be a puppy. A soft, cuddly puppy who jumps up on Picard’s lap and occasionally saves the ship from disaster. Who could hate Puppy Wesley?

While I have no desire to see TNG or DSP rebooted, I think Danny Trejo as a Klingon is a brilliant idea.

Hey Orci & Kurtzman. if you have Klingons in the next movie, cast Danny Trejo as one!

And Jonah Hill as Morn was hysterical.

This is off-base, but I always thought the characters chasing the alien in “Species”, which were led by Ben Kingsley, seemed like an alternate TNG cast.

JoJo it happens all the time.

Meh. Not crazy about their picks for DS9. Viggo Mortensen as Garak? COME ON.

WIth all respect, Next Gen and DS9 rebooted? That may not be possible.

Tom Hardy as Captain Picard.

I’ll get my coat XD

edris elba would be a kick-ass Sisko.

Star Trek: The Next Next Generation:

Picard: (Now played by Paul Bettany, steps into sickbay) Hullo, Bevvie. My gods, you get lovelier and bustier every time I see you.

Dr. Crusher: (Now played by Christina Hendricks) What can I do for you, John?

Picard: Just stopped by for my bi-weekly knob-yanking, and I — What the hell!?

Wesley: (Now played by a 6 week old Yellow Lab) Sorry, I had an accident. I also realigned the warp core manifolds so we can time travel at will.

Guinan: (Now played simultaneously by the entire cast of ‘The View’) You know the only way to train a puppy is with peanut butter. Or a boyfriend. HAhahahahahahahHAAHahahahaHAHAHAA. We laugh at crude girl talk. ‘Scuse us while we go check the library computer to see if Barbara Streisand ever got elected president.

Picard: Well, I’m gone.

Dr. Crusher: What, John? You just got here.

Picard: I was never really here… like in “A Beautiful Mind.”

Russell Crowe: (Now much, much fatter than his Robin Hood leotards allow) I’ll take over. I’m a much better Master and Commander anyway, and I usually stay drunk most of the time.

Trumpet trills the closing theme.
Cursive blue credits list 15 writers for the above slop.
Paramount logo gets equal billing with entire cast.

Bored Trek Fan: I wonder whether they’ve rebooted ‘X-Files’ yet…

#8 – I hate threadcrappers.

If not for the reboot your namesake would be just a bunch of “yes” or no” beeps.

The only thing that prevents Remmick from being five alarm high octane nightmare fuel is the unconvincing muppet that comes out of his chest.

But his actual death by exploding phaser head…. gaah. Let’s just say after watching that, five year old self took a little break from TNG….

The transporter deaths in TMP and Ensign halfway-through-the-floor were also damn scary.

#12.

Tuvok and Neelix were killed in a tragic transporter accident. The fact that killing another sentient lifeform would allow them to be resurrected is irrelevant: It is just plain immoral to murder your neighbor because the devil gives you an iron-clad guarantee he’ll resurrect your dead mother if you do.

Besides, the transporter mechanism didn’t need to kill Tuvix to resurrect his parents. Transporter beam duplication (Anyone remember those Fabulous Riker Boys?) was already an established fact by that episode. They could have duplicated his transporter beam and separated one of the beams back into Tuvok and Neelix while bringing Tuvix back with the other.

Speaking of deaths…what about that woman that had her face removed in Charlie X?

You figure she wouldn’t be able to breathe without her face. That scene freaked me out watching it late at night. o_O;

Captain Rabau’s death was pretty cruel as well. In the movie, he’s stabbed in the chest with Nero’s staff. In the “NERO” comic, his body is then recylcled in the Narada’s replicators and stored as energy.

I was going to mention Engineer Olsen, but that guy was an idiot and the scene was clearly done for comical effect. Anyone with half a brain would have opened his parachute when Kirk and Sulu did. I shake my head every time I watch that scene.

@10. Wesley Crusher’s Roommate – June 19, 2010
“The Young Turks? Really trekmovie? C’mon, stick to organizations that deal in facts, if politics is where you really want to go. Don’t give propaganda machines more publicity.”

Sure, they are obviously of democratic support, but then they are not trying to hide that fact. Their reporting are also very fair and accurate, spiced with some of their own very thought-through analyses of course.

And, in difference from other news sources that claims to be “fair and balanced”, these guys always behave civilised to their guests no matter of their opinion. So far, I’ve never heard them yell at their guests to shut up if they don’t agree with their opinion… they always treat their opponents with utmost respect.

Having said that, I see no problem for TrekMovie to quote Fox News or MSNBC if they happen to have a Star Trek reference since it is the latter that we are interested in. They could even reference to Chinese state television as far as I’m concerned, but I doubt that they’ll have any Star Trek references to find…

31- My then-15-year old son’s one quote about ST09:

“Olson was a douche.”

An honorable mention for bad deaths is the episode in TNG where the crew is kidnapped while they sleep and experimented on. There was that one crewman (I think he was wearing red pajamas, heh) that had his blood turned into an epoxy.

How Remmick’s gooey death ever got approved for TV is beyond me. That would’ve been pretty hardcore for a movie in 1989, let alone a TV show.

“Chiwetel Ejiofor as Commander William T. Riker”

Since they stated that this would occur in the Abrams universe, how would this change Riker’s skin colour and race? If one of this grandparents or parents chose a different partner than the Prime universe, he would not be William Riker and he wouldn’t display the same personality or character traits.

TMP’s transporter disaster traumatized me for life when I saw it at age 5.

What were they thinking when they wrote something that hideous into the movie, in your opinion? Was it to establish that the technological future is so heartless that V’ger is onto something when it seeks to go beyond machinery to humanity?

I know it’s a plot device for setting up Spock’s comeback, but this could have been done a number of ways that didn’t involve people being torn apart in teleporters. Also, where is the accountability? Isn’t the accident Janice Rand’s fault, or is my memory failing me?

26. Yes, and you can keep it. No, seriously… I hope you’ll be very happy with the Abramsverse film, that you can still appreciate it 40 years from now. Christopher Pike was all the more dramatic, having both been the second longest serving Captain of the Enterprise and an anti-hero.

As opposed to a Han Solo wannabe, reduced to being Captain for 40 minutes before he becomes a victim and loses his command to some punk kid.

Hi folks –
Just to be clear – the TNG & DS9 reboot articles are just for fun – I’m not saying these shows in any way need to be redone or could any way be improved upon. (Tom Hardy as Picard is an interesting choice.)

We’ve had a lot of fun with these, so you can rest assured we’ll be doing a Voyager & Enterprise one over at UGO, soon. (If you have any brilliant suggestions – ping me at Jordan[at]UGO.com.

I’ll be sure to let Anthony know when they are live.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to daydream some more about Christina Hendricks as Dr. Crusher.

To MorbidGorn –
Maybe a Twitter campaign to getting Danny Trejo cast as a Klingon is in order?

I think Trejo would make a great Klingon. I woul never want to see a reboot of DS9 because I just love that show but it were to be done Jon Hamm WOULD make a great Dukat.

Trejo would make an amazing Klingon, although I do wonder about the tendency to cast ethnic minorities as Klingons, post-III.

Agreed Number 19!

#36.

Hmmm…I didn’t see this before but your post makes me ponder that there appears to be a theme (That I’d blame on Shran – except, he’s fiction.) – that the only good Vulcan is a dead one running through Trek from some faction that probably stems from the NBC execs complaints and continues to evolve to this day? Oddly enough, even Nimoy carried that theme for a while with regards to Spock, himself.

#31 Engineer Olsen waited to pull his chute because he was looking for whose ass to kick.

#44.

I believe the mission was to stealthily kick the drill’s arse before any Romulan arses realized they where there?

#45.

where=were

At least Danny Trejo wouldn’t need makeup to play Martok.

#45

Olsen did say he “can’t wait to kick some Romulan ass!” to which Kirk gave him a “settle down, fella” look.

As I said earlier, Olsen was an idiot.

#48.

I forgot that.

I’d have to concur. A definite threat to the mission and himself.

But on the other hand Pike was looking for people with experience/training in hand to hand combat? Wasn’t he? Kirk, he knew had it from first hand experience in the bar.

And, I suppose, it is an unfortunate truism that people of Olsen’s ilk often end up with the most “experience” in that regards?

Mark Henry as Worf… No. No. No no no. No no no no-no no no no no. How ’bout NO?!