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Exclusive Preview Of March 2259 Issue Of Nacelles Monthly Magazine [UPDATED]

Once again TrekMovie has been able to use our patented quantum-tunneling technology app to download a future issue of Nacelles Monthly – the United Federation of Planet’s leading publication on warp technology. The reporters of Nacelles Monthly travel light years through the Alpha Quadrant for their stories and bring home one scoop after the other. Check out a very early preview of a cover from the March 2259 issue. [UPDATED]

 

UPDATE: Thanks to Thorsten and Tobias For Tunneling Into The Future

OK we fess up. Our April Fool’s Day issue of Nacelles Monthly Magazine didn’t actually come from the future…it came from Germany. This is actually TrekMovie’s second preview from the future. The first came in 2009 with a mock-up of a cover of "Nacelles Monthly," although we cannot take credit for the name. That came from Star Trek director JJ Abrams who had said in an interview that he was never going to please all the fans, noting "I can’t make this movie for readers of Nacelles Monthly."  So TrekMovie turned to German photographer Thorsten Wulff who mocked up a cover for ‘Nacelles Monthly’ with digital artwork provided by his countryman Tobias Richter of The Light Works. And for the record, Abrams loved the cover of Nacelles Monthly,
calling it "hysterical."

And for Into Darkness Thorsten and Tobias delivered again with a great new issue of Nacelles Monthly. Tobias has also been nice enough to provide fans with a downloadable desktop version of the new USS Enterprise under the seas of Nibiru.


Click to enlarge/download

original article

Nacelles Monthly from 2259

This issue from March 2259 covers the exciting rescue mission the 1701endured on Nibiru, where the crew did everything to stick to the Prime Directive, even drowning the ship. Chief Engineer Scott has his own tale to tell about this adventure, which kept the Enterprise for hours on the sea floor. Quote: "You have any idea how ridiculous it is to hide a Starship on the bottom of the ocean?"


Cover of Nacelles Monthly Mag – March 2259 (click to enlarge)

In other news: The Klingon Empire was busy too, field testing a new design on the Bird Of Prey fighter model, while the Starfleet Corps of Engineers reacted with their own new Nacelle and Starship design to the Vulcan catastrophe. From what the team of Nacelles Monthly exclusively saw at a Top Secret Utopia Planitia presentation, the Federation will be ready should the Narada-like threat pop out a grim future. One Photographer of the magazine travelled all the way to Elas in the Tellun star system, to check out reports about huge Dilithium deposits on that backwater planet. He told some crazy tales about the mesmerizing women there.

Don’t miss the March 2259 issue of Nacelles Monthly and check out our Solar System Rebate Subscription business model!

Also let’s flashback to 2009 with TrekMovie’s last super-preview. That time we brought back the first issue of Nacelles Monthly to feature the new USS Enterprise. …


Our last Nacelles Monthly preview scoop from 2009

TrekMovie’s capture of this magazine from 2259 proves two things: print is not dead in the 23rd century and Apple is still around.


TrekMovie’s quantum-tunneling app brings back magazines from the future

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somethoughts
April 1, 2013 3:41 am

LOL april fools, btw sexy cover art!

AyanEva
April 1, 2013 3:49 am

LOL Nice! I can’t wait to read that interview with Scotty!

ObsessiveStarTrekFan
April 1, 2013 4:48 am

I’ve only been looking at this website this year, so I had to check to see if there really was a previous issue of Nacelles Monthly reported. I found it on Trekmovie from 24 February, 2009. Having satisfied myself that the 2265 issue was ‘real’, I note that it not only had a story about the new NCC-1701, but the original one as well… Can we assume that one was April’s ship? It looks suspiciously Prime Universe…

Anyway, this ‘preview’ has brightened my day – pity we can’t actually read the articles in the issues as well ;-)

Ali gee
April 1, 2013 4:51 am

Robert April fools!

0iter
April 1, 2013 5:15 am

“Biggest Nacelles ever”…..FAPFAPFAPFAPFAP..aah.

KingDaniel
April 1, 2013 5:25 am

I love it!

Hat Rick
April 1, 2013 6:15 am

What’s the stardate for April Fools Day? :-)

I bet Scotty has had a subscription to Nacelles Monthly since he was a zygote.

;-)

By the way, I was shocked to discover that they actually offer a subscription to NA on Kindle!

naseweis
April 1, 2013 6:23 am

I love the new issue. Must buy it asap! :-)

Son of Jello
April 1, 2013 6:23 am

You should have gone with a scandle of STITD being released on the internet or the script. boborci could have left a comment of absolute outrage in the comments section to give it plausability. JJ Abrams could have been so upset by it that he flat out refused to have anything more to do with the third ST movie.

Son of Jello
April 1, 2013 6:29 am

Re 9 Its the 1st of april in Australia before its the 1st in the US If you quoted an Australian source it could have worked and still been a technically correct April fools joke.

The Troubled Tribble
April 1, 2013 8:23 am

Despite the fact it’s an April Fools joke, I like the idea of the ship being hidden at the bottom of the ocean.

Clinton
April 1, 2013 8:30 am

I plan on subscribing to Nacelles Monthly…sometime in the future.

Jorg Sacul
April 1, 2013 9:53 am

If they had a “free advice” column, would it be called “Nacelles Nickles”

(ducks photon torpedoes for that pun)

SherlockFangirl
April 1, 2013 10:01 am

Wallpaper. Now.

April 1, 2013 10:33 am

Picard would beat Kirk in a battle of a wits, hands down.

Kirk
April 1, 2013 10:44 am

Well done, sir.

Red Dead Ryan
April 1, 2013 10:46 am

#15.

That’s such a ridiculous statement, even for April Fool’s day.

TrekkerChick
April 1, 2013 10:56 am

Apparently the “patented quantum-tunneling technology app” has some data transmission issues, and drops apostrophes from magazine covers…. LOL.

Red Dead Ryan
April 1, 2013 11:03 am

As for the magazines, I like how the top right corner is folded, and the lower right side is a bit worn. Nice attention to detail right there. :-)

Nony
April 1, 2013 11:35 am

Heh. I imagine Starfleet scrambling frantically around, wondering who’s been leaking all their sensitive mission info to popular science magazines.

TrekkerChick
April 1, 2013 11:49 am

@20

They’re still trying to track down — after 37 years’ investigations — precisely how the Technical Manual got transmitted to the US DoD…. and thence to Franz Joseph Designs….

Red Dead Ryan
April 1, 2013 12:08 pm

They’ll never find the person who leaked this confidential information. NEVER!!!

Heh Heh!

April 1, 2013 12:29 pm

Is that Tobias’ Enterprise? I bet it is.

RBanks
April 1, 2013 12:57 pm

Many Bothans died obtaining the patent for Trekmovie’s quantum-tunneling technology…

AJ
April 1, 2013 1:43 pm

Is it Thorsten again?

Anthony, post the old ‘BSG’ Enterprise from 2007.

Oh. Here it is:

http://trekmovie.com/2007/04/01/design-sketch-for-reimagined-enterprise-leaked/

April 1, 2013 2:32 pm

Updated article on how the quantum-tuneling was achieved. Big thanks to our German friends Thorsten Wulff and Tobias Richter for putting it together again. Also added nice downloadable wallpaper from Tobias of the USS Enterprise under water

Lt. Bailey
April 1, 2013 2:45 pm

Now that my subcription is pre-paid, I can hardly wait for the first issue.

Caesar
April 1, 2013 2:49 pm

*Federation’s

April 1, 2013 2:50 pm

In the year 2259 the apostrophe has become obsolete

April 1, 2013 2:51 pm

Ha, I called it. I’d recognize Tobias’ work anywhere.

Obsidian
April 1, 2013 2:54 pm

Actually, an enterprising ST fan entrepreneur could create an actual magazine like this. Even online only would be cool. I bet it would go like gangbusters.

bg
April 1, 2013 2:56 pm

Beautiful images! :)))

Emperor Mike of the Alternate Empire
April 1, 2013 3:08 pm

Anthony Pascale lied to us about the apostrophe being Obsolete in 2259. But. Since he Lied then he told the Truth. But if he told us the Truth then how could he Lie. But since he Lied he told the Truth!. So how did he Lie and tell the Truth about Lying!!!!!!!!. I mean Come on!!!! How did he Lie when he told us the Truth!!!! He Lied to us all!!!. But he Told the Truth!!!!. Illogical! Illogical!!!!! Please Explain!!. Only an Pascale! can Explain!!!!!!.

SherlockFangirl
April 1, 2013 3:18 pm

thx for wallpaper

kthxbai

Princess Marja Solo
April 1, 2013 4:30 pm

Haha, I’d be willing to bet Scotty really liked the centerfold featuring those “ample nacelles”!

Great fake-up and I loved the cover blurbs on both the new “issue” and the “previous “issue.” Hats off to our talented German fellow fans. And thanks, love the wallpaper; I will download it promptly.

BTW speaking of talented German ST fans, if you have not yet seen the send-up of ST:TNG do, it’s a great April Fool’s treat and has some hilarious bits [despite the absence of two significant characters]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewPJflCmPMc&list=PL5BE7D497E780C375&index=21

thorsten
April 1, 2013 5:28 pm

best April fools day wishes from Greenwich, London, just around the corner from John Harrison’s chronometers ;))

Keachick
April 1, 2013 5:58 pm

#29 – Very interesting.

I love the picture of the Enterprise hiding under the waters of Nibiru.

Poor Scotty, even in the new universe, is having a hard time taking care of his “bairns” – that captain Kirk – will he ever understand, appreciate Scotty’s position in these matters, especially now that he has ordered the Enterprise to go underwater and how nacelle degradation is occurring? No wonder Scotty’s into so much whiskey jug! I mean, can ya blame the poor lad?

DonDonP1
April 1, 2013 6:20 pm

Best April Fool Joke ever!

April 1, 2013 6:56 pm

lolz, it’s April! but new wallpaper too =)

AJ
April 1, 2013 8:40 pm

Are we Having Fun Yet?

Star Trek Into Darkness is out next month!

TrekMadeMeWonder
April 1, 2013 8:48 pm

My big fat Scottish nacelles.

Now, I can blame Scotty. He’s had time to fix that!

The Observer
April 1, 2013 9:24 pm

I am reminded that I must renew my subscription.

Michael Hall
April 1, 2013 11:03 pm

Trust Tobias Richter to give us one of the best possible angles on that questionable (I’m being kind) redesign. As a CGI wannabee myself, my respect for his talents is literally off the scale.

Smike
April 2, 2013 1:38 am

While this is a really nice cover, it’s not your typical April fool’s day joke! I would have expected a bit more, something regarding the true identity of John Harrison… you could have “officially announced” he is actually playing a younger version of ROBERT APRIL… Now THAT would have been the ultimate APRIL fool’s joke…LOL

Smike
April 2, 2013 1:40 am

But on the other hand… if he really is April, the joke wouldn’t have worked… so I guess there is a reason this joke wasn’t used, and we’ll have to wait for May to see Weather I’m right about it… (no typo, but pun intended)

April 2, 2013 8:40 am

These covers are a big tease, showing us something we can’t have but want badly. Kind of like Jennifer Hudson.

The Baron of Beef
April 2, 2013 9:21 am

God bless all types of nacelle

TrekMadeMeWonder
April 2, 2013 11:36 am

Underwater? Trek was always great at the hard to believe stuff.

Thanks, Anthony! It is a nice pic.

TrekkerChick
April 2, 2013 12:49 pm

@29

And I was hoping for a techno-babblish explanation!

Along with baseball and television? Obsolete? The apostophe? Gone the way of the letter known as the ‘thorn’, I guess.

Jovius the Romulan
April 2, 2013 2:39 pm

^ In four years, it wasn’t corrected. :P

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