Look Who’s Talking To J.J. [UPDATED] September 11, 2007
by John Tenuto , Filed under: Abrams , trackback
UPDATE…and the caption contest winner is…Paul with:
George for the last time stop referring to me as your young Padawan!
This great photograph of Star Wars honcho George Lucas talking to Star Trek helmer J.J. Abrams was taken at a private dinner in August. No word on what they talked about, but Abrams is an admitted Star Wars fan and Lucas is said to be an admirer of the work of Gene Roddenberry.
Caption Contest…win poster
Why don’t you suggest yourown caption. The staff of TrekMovie.com will pick the best captionposted before September 16th and the winner will get a free Star Trek2008 poster (make sure to use a working email address so we can get your mailing details from you).
UPDATE: Gene and George
This was not the first ’summit meeting’ between Star Wars and Star Trek. Dan Madsen sends in this rare photo from the LucasFilm Fan Club Newsletter in 1987. The photo was taken at the 10th Anniversary Celebration of Star Wars.
Top Photo by Joichi Ito
(Creative Commons Attribution Licensed)
Photo published with photographer’s permission.
h/t to StarWarsBlog
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Comments»
Wow…..could this film – story and so on actually be saved? It sure looks like it now. Sweet!
“You already did gay robots? Well, shit.”
Lucas: I’ll let you have all the ILM effects work for free if you just explain what the hell is going on in “Lost”
#2
Hahaha, man that deserves to win some kind of caption competition award!
“Look, I really am sorry, George, but we just don’t need ILM anymore. We’ve decided we want to go back to the original look and feel of The Original Series, and that means no CGI!”
Sweet! Now we just need a William Shatner/Harrison Ford fistfight, and all my dreams will have come true..
“I think I see a TMZ papparazi over there. Let’s flash our muffins.”
– Oh wait. That’s for Britney.
I think this was the dinner meeting where they discussed how Lucas’s Industrial Light & Magic could digitize a slimmer Shatner into the next Star Trek movie….
Mike :o
“I’m having a heck of a time getting this booger off my finger”
a wookie vs a klingon , deal !
Abrams: “So you’re saying you held the crayon with your right hand just like that –”
Lucas: “Just like this…”
Abrams: “–and that’s how you wrote the Star Wars prequels?”
Lucas: “You got it.”
Abrams: “Incredible. And you made millions off those suckers…”
Lucas: “Billions.”
Abram – Wait a minute… You mean the only way ILM will do the effects is if I write a part for Jar Jar Binks?! Forget that. I can get a couple of ATM models on eBay for $50.
Abrams: “And you’re telling me the whole Star Wars saga came from one encounter with bad mushrooms….”
Lucas: “Scout ship’s honor!”
“Seriously… Darth Vader built C3-PO?”
“Seriously… Romulans cloaned Picard?”
“I didn’t write that! But YOU did invent Ewoks.”
“Touché”
Lucas: “What’s the difference between Jabba the Hutt and an older Captain Kirk?
Abrams: “about forty pounds and an extra-large Starfleet uniform!”
J.J.: “You, George? We don’t even have enough room for Shatner!”
“I’m excited about your new movie, J.J, but it’s just too bad the last show got cancelled…”
“Why’s that?”
“I had the perfect reveal for the ‘Future Guy’… would have been great!”
“Who’d you have in mind? Kirk? Spock? Maybe a Romulan?”
“Better than any of those… Jar Jar Binks!”
Abrams: “O.K., it’s agreed……I’ll bring Kirk back from the dead if you pretend Jar Jar Binks NEVER happened……”
“Wait, wait. You mean Han shot first?”
I vote for #15. But are you sure it is as much as 40 lbs?
“Death Star!”
“Borg cube!”
“Death Star!”
“Borg cube!”
“Death Star has the most powerful generator in the Galaxy!”
“The Borg can adapt to the super laser and would assimilate the Death Star!”
“Palpatine could use the Dark Side and kill the Borg”
“One drone would have old Palpy p’wned!”
“You’re such a fan boy!”
“Oh yeah… well… loosersayswhat”
“What?”
“Exactly!”
#20 “are you sure it is as much as 40 lbs?”
Hey, at least Jabba never wore a girdle!!!!
“In Episode 6, Leia claims she can remember her mother”
“What’s your point?”
“In Episode 3, Leia clearly is too small an infant to remember anything, and Padme dies… WORST EPISODE EVER!”
“Pull my finger!”
“I’d rather kiss a wookie!”
Lucas
Join my quest.
Abrams
What is it you seek?
Lucas
What you seek. What all men have
sought since time began — the
ultimate Trek movie. To find it, we’ll
need an idea.
Abrams
Ideas? There are no ideas in Hollywood
Lucas
Perhaps I have a way to bring one here.
Abrams
But how?
Lucas
Have faith my friend. There are more
of us than you know.
Abrams
You’re a trekmovie forum member!
Lucas
AHAHHAHAHA!
a note on the contest…the winner will be selected by quality and not quantity
George: (Questionablely curious looks at J.J.)
J.J.: Look George you get the check this time. I don’t have the millions from 6 movies under my belt.
“C’mon! ‘Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Castle Skull?’ Ha, ha, George you almost– Really? Are you sure?”
Oops. Obviously that should read “CRYSTAL Skull”!
I can’t come up with a caption as this picture sends a shudder down my spine that inteferes with my abilitiy to think clearly.
“So, how many times can you re-do a thing before they stop buying it?”
Lucas: That’s nice, but the movie would be much better if you include Shatner.
So let me get this straight…….Greedo shot first?
That photo looks, I say looks doctored, Anthony. J.J. appears closer to the forefront than Lucas. Lucas seems like he’s looking to the right of J.J. They do not share eye contact.
JJ: So if you think Kirk is a go getter like Han Solo, Picard is smart like yoda, Sisko has the strength of will of will of Mace Winduu and Janeway is a powerful leader like Queen Amidalla what does that make all the other characters?
Lucas: I dont know but I know B4 is like Jar Jar Binks… Stupid, pointless, with a tendency to drag down the already weak storyline.
“J.J., I relate to what you say about ‘Lost’ but my advice is not to sweat it. I didn’t have *shit* planned out when I wrote the first ‘Star Wars.’”
“An unholy alliance is formed…”
“If we were on Family Feud, and the teams were asked to fill in the blank on STAR ____, you bet YOUR ASS I’d win!!”
Driver:
here is the guy who took the photo
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joi_Ito
He is a Japanese entrepreneur… I believe he knows JJ personally
I hope I don’t F%CK up Star Trek as much as you F%CKED up Star Wars!
“For the last time, Lucas, a 9 year old Spock is NOT an option!”
A still to remind us that Hollywood prequel directors are like the Sith. “Always two there are — no more, no less. A master and an apprentice.”
“Sooo George…..I have this idea. I need your guys to create a young CGI William Shatner. Can you do it?”
Should have added Hollywood SCI-FI prequel directors to #42.
COMPROMISE:
Let’s agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be…
ELITISM:
It’s lonely at the top, but it’s comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom.
FLATTERY:
If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom.
YOU’RE the guy who directed Episode I? Ohh, I thought it was Brett Ratner.
Wait a minute? You mean to tell me it’s not real??!!!
George you can alter this picture any way you want but we both know which finger I stuck out first!
Abrams expresses his disgust to Lucas’ proposal to entitle the next Star Trek feature “Iowa Kirk and the Holy Bones of Doom.”
So, the proper order should be Star Trek XIV, XV, XVI… THEN do XI, XII, and XIII?
Appetizer: 15$
Glass of wine: 20$
Main Course: 40$
Getting George Lucas to pull your finger during dessert… Priceless.
“George, please stop looking at me like that, I promise never to mention the ‘Star Wars’ holiday special again.”
LUCAS: “Trust me, J.J.–you don’t wanna do a prequel…”
So how would you bring back the dead Captain Kirk ?
PS the Flattery, Ellitism and Compromise are not entries just funny de-motivators from this site…
http://www.despair.com/viewall.html
my personal favorite is the one about potential…
Very funny…
Aaron R.
“Really, George? And in all this time, no one’s figured out that Gerry Garcia died the same day you supposedly went grey? That’s fantastic. Now, I know why Episode I looks like an acid trip.”
So let me get this straight George, the only thing you changed about Darabont’s version of the Indy IV script was the title?
At $100,000 per consultation session with science-fiction film director George Lucas, it was soon obvious why William Shatner could not be budgeted for Star Trek XII. Lucas’ mention of his wrecked AFI Life Achievement Award by Shatner didn’t help much either.
Lucas: Um, JJ, I already did the whole prequal thing.
”No J.J., rock always beats scissors.”
Lucas: J.J I hear your struggling to find an actor for young Kirk well I think I have the kid for you.
J.J Abrams: I have a bad feeling about this.
You can’t be serious George! In 30 years I’m gonna look exactly like you do now!?!?
“Wait a minute George… Shatner paid you how much to come tell me he should be in the movie?”
Which came first ?
JJ: So wait you’re telling me that if you’d never seen TOS back in the 60’s Star Wars would never have happened?
Lucas: Pretty much yeah.
JJ: So wait what you’re telling me is that you pretty much ripped everything off from Trek?
Lucas: Yeah of course you think I could come up with all that by myself? Why do you think I left the prequels under the command of my own Rick?
Trek had their Rick I had mine.
JJ: Point taken
Lucas: yeah pretty much when Gene passed I had no more original ideas to rip off so I handed the prequel reins to my Rick.
Lucas
Abrams: “I got an idea!”
Lucas: “Great, kid, don’t get cocky.”
Hey George…WHY DON’T YOU PLAY KIRK!
JJ: So, Vader comes out of the Guardian of Forever and, well, I know it’s in a whole ‘nother galaxy and all but work with me on this… So, Vader comes out of the Guardian and Spock and the new Chekov pull his breath mask off AND…..AND…..IT’S SHATNER!!! Well… what do you think?
I finally figured out a way to get him in the movie! And you could sell alot more Vader toys and stuff, huh?
GL: But we already pulled off his breath mask….
JJ: Hello? REBOOT!
GL: Ahhhhh… not bad…
“I’m tellin’ ya J.J., annouce it, get ‘em excited, make ‘em wait a year or two for the first film . . . then plant THIS squarely in the rear end of every living fan.”
George – is it me, or did Paramount once look at Star Wars and say, “do we have anything like this?”
Lucas (waving his hand): You WILL use ILM for the special effects in your movie.
JJ (in a monotonous tone): I will use ILM for the special effects in my movie.
Abrams: Now, I told you, I’m not going to put in an incoherantly babbling CG Gorn.
Lucas: Why not?
Abrams: …….
Lucas: Oh right. The Jar -Jar thing. (looks ashamed)
“So let me get this straight, George. You’re saying you had the word ’star’ copyrighted?”
The caption should read
“I so want to be you. I am going to copy what you did with Star Wars into Star Trek because I don’t have a clue what else to do. I am not worthy to be sitting at the table with you….I am just the flavour of the month”..
This photo is just priceless and goes to show EVERYONE that Abrams is doing nothing more than copying Star Wars into Star Trek. (aka Anakin Kirk). For all of those people out there who say “we don’t know what they were talking about”….LISTEN UP people…give your heads a shake and ask yourself “WHAT ELSE DO YOU THINK they are talking about?? Baseball??? HOW about “MOVIES”.
Abrams your an over rated hack.
Thanks for taking Trek right down the toilet…..Berman dumped it, I guess you get to flush….
Boycott STXI!
JJ Abrams: “No, George, you don’t ‘got my nose’.”
J.J.: “Remember, like when you were in England and you were directing Star Wars and like, the actors ran in from of the camera but you had to do it again ’cause the mic was in picture?”
GEORGE: …Yeah.
J.J.: That was cool.
#2 is my vote for winner, although I think mine is not bad. I can still appreciate 4th grade humor at 42…..
#3 a close second.
and #15 honorable mention.
Ok, yes I know, I’m not the judge, just wanted to put in my 2 cents :)
JJ shoots first.
Boy, Captain Kaplan is leader of the Olympic pissy squad, don’tcha think??
Abrams: “Seriously, George. What the hell?”
“My phaser my not be as big as your light saber, but it’s just as deadly. I dare you to say that again…”
kaplan…last warning for trolling
comments to: http://trekmovie.com/about/feedback/
JJ: I was thinking. If this thing is a huge success, I’m gonna be really busy for the next couple of years. It’s gonna be a real challenge to fit the follow-up into my schedule.
Lucas: Okay…
JJ: Someone’s gonna have to run things for me.
[points at Lucas]
JJ: How would you like to direct the next one?
[Lucas smiles, begins to bring hand from beside his head to open it.]
Lucas: Can I write it too?
[JJ gets a confused look on his face and retracts his hand slightly.]
[Picture gets taken]
JJ: Sorry, I need to go relieve myself. Be back in a minute.
JJ [to self]: Maybe I won’t be that busy…
Laugh it up you old fuzzball but there’s no way you’re gonna write dialogue for ST11!
“Hey George, mind if I call it “Star Wars Trek” ? I’ll give you a teaser poster.”
I vote for #73, but I will add my own attempt.
George: “Have I told you the tragedy of Darth Plagueis the Wise? He had such a knowledge of the Dark side that he could manipulate the Midichlorians to create life.”
JJ: “Pfft! That’s nothing! We did that with the Genesis device and brought back Spock!”
Ha Ha Ha Mr Lucas…Your Jedi mind tricks are useless in my universe!
Okay, my second and last attempt, I promise.
George: “I will gladly do the special effects for you, but NOT if the bridge railing is fluorescent orange!”
JJ: “Really? You’re trying to make that one animated TV series? ‘Cuz I make 3-4 new ones every month and they’re all fo’ shizzle!”
“Ok George, lemme get this straight: ILM will do the effects ONLY if I put Jar Jar in the movie..Ok..done deal..but only if Jar Jar wears a red shirt..”
COFFEE AND CIGARETTES
The Deleted Scenes
Trek Wars
JJ: Seriously, George! WTF am I gonna do?
Lucas: Sorry, JJ. I got nothin’
JJ: George, can YOU pay the bill?
#93 — LOL! Awesome!
JJ: So you’re telling me that your script for ANH came from a week long acid trip you and Gene took in the early 70’s?
Lucas: Where am I and what the hell are those ewoks doing over there?
“For the last time, George, Mugatu will NOT be in the movie!”
Anthony, my apologies. My caption “George, pull my finger.”
You really think Harlan Ellison will tune up the script?
JJ: Wha – da – ya mean? …I – am – your – father.
I’m telling you, the saucer section should have a big chunk out of the middle of it, right in the front. See this hamburger?
My vote’s easily for #2. Short, to the point, and made me laugh out loud.
SO , GEORGE
EXPLAIN TO ME, ” HOW NOT TO MAKE A CRAPPY PREQUEL “.
J.J.: “So a Klingon and a Wookie walk into a bar…”
Lucas: From my point of view Starfleet is evil!
JJ: Then you are lost!
George: OK, remember that Nexus thing from Generations? See, it doesn’t matter if you live or die once you’re inside, right? Part of you is still in the Nexus, therefore Kirk is still alive.
JJ: Uh….
George: So here’s how you save the original series and Next Generation.
JJ: ??
George: Hear me out on this. Whatever part of Kirk is still in the lexus leaves and saves Data!
JJ: …. I have two words for you.
George (smiling triumphantly): Oh?
JJ: Crack kills.
It may not be the funniest, but #93 is one of the few that actually made me chuckle.
And obviously that was supposed to be Nexus, not the car by the similar name.
Lucas: Hey, JJ, thanks for inviting me to dinner.
JJ: No problem, George…anything to get the speculation going about my movie. Now, look in the other direction from the paparazzi…this is supposed to be a “private” dinner.
At the end of the meeting, George finally revealed — to JJ’s horror — the fist he’d been sitting on all night… he called it, “the Stranger.”
George is about to activate his lightsaber, but JJ is already pointing his phaser at him.
JJ: So you mean you just stole the whole thing straight from Roddenberry?
Lucass: Even the Pig Guy from Journey to Babel.
JJ: By George you’re a Genius!
JJ – “Wait, let me get this straight. You’re not Santa Claus?”
“About that Millenium Falcon in First Contact…”
Mind melds and mind tricks, hokey religions! Oh My!
WTF??!!! He’s trying to get YOU to name a character Timmy now??!!
Or my favorite:
So let me get this straight. THX is your little brother and if I let him be a red shirt, you’ll give me free processing time at ILM?
Melding Minds: The two “Star-” worlds make friends.
“OK, George… I’ll explain inverted tachyon particles to you if you explain Midichlorians to me.”
Hmmm.
It’s quite well known, Mr. Abrams aside, that George is quite a well-known fan of Star Trek from his youth. After the success of Star Wars in the 70s, he toyed with the idea of purchasing rights to Star Trek. So, it’s hardly a matter of astonishment that he’d be chatting with Abrams about something he’s loved for many years.
Still, I often wondered what direction Trek would’ve taken under George’s guidance.
Come to think about it, George, if you’re rteading this, there’s still time.;)
In honor of FSL # 113:
http://img208.imageshack.us/img208/605/lucasabramsstandoffpq0.jpg
Today’s topic: parsecs and starfields..
ABRAMS: …but, the bumbling, comic-relief, child-pandering character that you wrote into YOUR movie is widely considered to be among the top-three most annoying phenomena in recorded history….
LUCAS: I find your lack of faith disturbing.
“I’m sorry George, Starfleet just doesn’t provide the proper training for Kirk to use the force.”
Paper, Scissors, ,,,,,Rock !
I win ,,,now tell ME whats happing with Trek !
#121 — I love both Star Trek and Star Wars, but PLEASE keep George Lucas away from Star Trek! While Star Trek would benefit from the direction of an auteur (too many cooks…), we don’t need Lucas’ brand on both of the major SF franchises, and besides, Lucas cannot write dialog to save his life.
a) “Look, George, I *know* it worked for you, but that was only one scene in Return of the Jedi. I just don’t think that going through every episode and replacing Nimoy’s face with Quinto’s is practical for my franchise.”
b)
Lucas: …and my rock crushes your scissors. That’s two to one, me. Game over.
Abrams: Damn. Well, there goes two decades of online bickering. What are nerds going to argue about now?
Lucas: Hey, there’s always Kirk vs. Picard.
c)
Lucas: “FOR THE PLANET?”
Abrams: “For the planet.”
d)
“You know, I read that, and I was about halfway through, and I just threw up my hands and was, like, ‘Who the hell is Gary Seven and why is he working with Guinan?’”
“Hey, George, it’s okay. Did the exact same thing. But at least *you* don’t have the black-and-blue marks where Orci beat you with the canon stick.”
e)
“So, George, I’ve always wondered: what’s it like having a series where the books are considered canon?”
“Wait… there are *books*?”
f)
Lucas Ruins the Night: “So I’ve started watching this terrific show. I watched every episode, all season, at airtime. Medium. Heard of it?”
…that one might be too subtle, actually. Just ignore it.
g)
“You know, some guy online is going to see this and isn’t going to be able to stop captioning for an hour.”
“F**king with the fans is what got me through the last decade, JJ. You’ll learn.”
My vote remains with #3, though.
Darn. #126 saw the rock-paper-scissors joke while I was still writing.
JJ: Live Long and Prosper!
George: I’ve got a bad feeling about this…
wow, i was hysterical laughing through a lot of that list. #16 was especially funny! how about: “don’t even think about using the force on me, JJ!”
Where the hell is “THX 1138″ in Jedi anyway ?
nice one Justin
another other good photoshoppers out there?
“Admit it. Neither one of us knows what we’re doing.”
And I like #48
Would you like another glass of wine?
“… About the title song of the movie: People want Shatner in the movie in some way and Shatner wants to be involved, right? So here’s what you do: Get Shatner to sing the the title song. That way he’s in the movie and everybody’s happy. It’s a win-win.”
“Look JJ, If you cant even figure out rock, paper, scissors….”
Once again Lucas falls pray to the Vulcan Pull My Finger Trick!
George,,,I want to “re-imagine” Star Wars
JJ: “So when are you announcing that Shatner is in the new Indiana Jones movie?”
Abrams: “Wait, aren’t you that guy, who did the other Star-thingy?”
I’m sure you’ll understand Mr. Lucas… Star Trek WILL be a closed set.
LUCAS: No, I’m Your Father!
JJ: You mean my script is a prequel to the wrong franchise? When they said it was the one where the alien had pointed ears, I thought they meant Yoda!
GL – “This isnt the franchaise you are looking for… ”
JJ – “Your Jedi mind tricks dont work on me George”
Lucas: “Like I said, you are bent over a table and holding onto a handle, just like this.”
JJ: “And then the doctor puts on a glove, extends his finger and, WHAT?”
Lucas: “I kid you not … then you feel the force.”
JJ – “Shatner sang you ‘My Way?’..well theres ‘No Way’ he’s in my movie!”
heres the clip in case you have no idea what i’m on about:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p55YD8QhQ3o
JJ – “So, what I was thinking, right, was Kirk and the crew get stranded on this island…”
Lucas – “Is Uhura wearing gold bikini?”
JJ – “No, but I was thinking of giving Spock a light sabre!”
Lucas – “What about Janice Rand? – she’d look great in a gold bikini – is she even in the film?”
JJ – “Anyway, George, I was pondering – would it be ok if Kirk is visited by the spiri of Yoda, to guide through?”
Lucas – “You want Yoda?”
JJ – “I was kinda hoping…”
Lucas – “Okay, you can have Yoda”
JJ – “Really?”
Lucas – “Yes, but only if he wear’s a gold bikini”.
Want to go to Temple with me?
…after a couple of glasses too many…
J.J. “Whaddaya mean it’s my turn turn for the tab?…”
G.L. “Right…I’ll armwrestle ya for it…”
#16 & #106 mattnis for both efforts, and #128 James Heaney for your (c) one if I had my way.
And #57 Aaron R.
That was an excellent link…I might have to get the “Destiny” one for my wife…
By the way, I hope you saw my post to you on the recent “Jennifer Garner” thread.
…so you’re George Lucas!…I thought you were dead…..
“Have the Gorn shoot first, but miss!”
JJ – “So you’re telling me the answer is to mix Star Trek and Star Wars to get Tek War? And that’s you’re BEST idea to getting Shatner in the film?”
Common George, if you touch my finger, it would be like Michael Angelo’s painting and we could title the photo, The Recreation of Trek!
JJ: That’s funny, George! Ok, stop me of you’ve heard this… A Priest, a Rabbi and a Wookie walk into a bar…
Lucas : You Will Tell Me What Happens On Lost !
J.J : Sorry Jedi mind tricks don’t work on Star Trek fans.
Lucas : Figures, Okay i’ll let ILM do the film for me if you tell me what’s going on with LOST.
J.J : Well, don’t tell anyone this, it’s a Dream Walt is haveing.
Lucas : That’s IT ?!?!?
J.J : That’s it.
Lucas : Why didn’t I think of that ?
“JJ, you’ve got a great hairline! No George, YOU’VE got a great hairline!”
TYPO, that one line should read For You not For Me, blah =P
JJ. “Let me get this straight… we should change the title of the film to ‘Star Trek Wars’? This just might work…”
“I’m telling you.. Khan shot first!”
“There is a great disturbance in the Force…” OR
“Away put your phaser, I mean you no harm…”
JJ – so all i got to do is just loose the office shirt and grow a beard?
GL : Anna minulle viinaa
JJ : Anna sinä minulle ensin rahaa
GL : Sopii, tehdään ensin Trek Wars
JJ : ja William Shatner on siinä
GL : Eikös Kirk kuollut Trek 7?
JJ : Kuoli ja voidaanhan se kloonata
GL : Kuin se Boba Fett palkkiometsästäjä kloonattiin
JJ : Se vasta on loistava
GL : Tiedän idea
JJ : Mutta Shanter on läskiperse
GL: ILM käyttää tehosteita jolla voi ne läskit poistaa
Yeah i know its finnish .)
J.J. Abrams: “I’m sorry, you’re who?”
Abrams: George You are not my father,
Lucas: JJ I am your father, search your feeling You know it to be true. Together we will rule the SCI FI Genre
My phaser is set to kill
May we both live long and prosper
“You mean you’ll REALLY let me use the midichlorians? Thanks George!!!!”
part of an argument between George Lucas and J.J. Abrams, caught on tape….
Abrams: Go back to Endor, you stupid Wookie!
Lucas: Wookies don’t live on Endor.
Abrams (in a mocking voice): Wookies don’t live on Endor.
**special thanks to Trey Parker and Matt Stone**
Lucas: I think Hayden Christensen would do a terrific job as a young James Kirk.
Abrams: Who the hell is Hayden Christensen?
Sooooo……do you think we should offer to help those “Exeter” guys finish thier damn episode??
GL – I’m going to punch you
I FOUND SHATNER Vs. LUCAS ==>> VERY FUNNY, you guys have to watch :=))))
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p55YD8QhQ3o&mode=related&search=
ABRAMS: ”That’s right. No money in the future and no toilets either.”
LUCAS: ”Hey, cool, nobody ever goes to the bathroom in Star Wars either–but we have money. In fact, I provided it all myself.”
ABRAMS: ”Hey George, I got an idea: How about you just buy Paramount and CBS and then we can make the film all the fans really want — Star Trek versus Star Wars!”
“Hey George, pull my finger! hehehehe!!!”
No, seriously, I’m fine to drive George.. Seriously, give em back.. I’m not kidding around here!?
So I just didn’t know who to turn to George.. These fans.. I mean, they’re writing freakin captions about me over at trekmovie.com!?
Oh dear God. I have no caption. I just hope we’re not getting all worked up for a letdown of Star Wars Episode I proportions….
Lucas: “Y’think fans would notice if you renumbered the Enterprise to THX-1138?”
So, do you think Jake Lloyd is too young to play a good Kirk?
J J Abrams : You Don’t Need To see My Identifaction!
Lucas : I Don’t Need To See Your Identifaction!
J J Abrams: This isn’t The Franchise your looking for! You can go about your business, Move along!
“So … Spock … is Kirk’s father? This is gold, Mr. Lucas. Pure gold.”
So just tell them “Faster and More Intense and I can be sauced most of the day, right?”
With Kirk on the Enterprise, a Star Destroyer doesn’t stand a chance.
“George, I am a big fan! Big fan, loved all the movies. I just gotta ask…What the F**K were you thinking about this Jar Jar Binks!”
Kirk would make Vader his bitch.. and Leia… forget about it.
Hayden Christensen is NOT going to be Kirk.
You should’ve let Spielberg handle Episodes 1 – 3.
I actually named my show Lost after the feeling I got watching Episodes 1, 2 and 3.
George: You just blow one?
JJ: No, I thought you did! Actually, you blew three of ‘em if I’m not mistaken.
Wow, you guys came up with some awesome ones… after reading them, mine sucks pretty bad… : (
heY why do my posts not work here?
At long last George passes the baton with his most closely guarded secret.. the ultimate plot decider, rock-paper-scissors..
JJ: “I thought you said YOU where picking up the tab for this lunch, you cheap bastard!”
JJ: So then, Nimoy whips out his phaser and – bam! – kills young Kirk to prevent old Kirk from getting onto the Enterprise B and dying. So then in the next scene, Shatner…
Lucas: Okay, JJ, that makes less sense than Lost, and I’m putting my fist down on this one: the movie has to make sense if ILM is getting involved.
JJ: Damn…time to move on to “contrived involving Shatner plan #782″…
I refuse to shake hands with a guy who can’t figure out how to put Bill Shatner in a Star Trek movie..
“So, you’re saying your script was written months ago? Wow! I usually make it all up as I’m shooting! Maybe I ought to give that a go”
pull my finger
No George… we already did a movie with whales.
No George… we already did a movie with whales.
HOLY MOTHER OF CHRIST, I just spit part of my lunch out onto my monitor reading the end of #149!!! So F-ing funny!!!
#146 was good too. Okay so I’m a sadist, sue me.
Dude, we totally look like we come from the planet Cheron..
The Rolf Harris & Buddy Holly Reunion Party Didn’t Get Off To The Perfect Start
Revamping the Star Trek Franchise:
You’re Doing it Wrong.
“Meanwhile in the Parallel universe….”
“Yep, Blue screen. Buy as much as you can possibly get your hands on. Nah, don’t bother making any sets, or even costumes – you can dress everyone in blue!”
“Look, George. I’m tellin’ ya. When it somes to womanizing and swashbuckling, Han Solo’s got nothing on James Kirk.”
‘So did you so Curb Your Enthusiasm?” “Yeah, Larry ate a big piece of……”
I feel compelled to call out my personal favorites so far:
#149
#146
#153
#198
#207
Thanks for all the laughs!!
“But I would recomend hiring descent actors. Unfortunatly my animators couldn’t do a thing about Hayden’s lines”
George: “J.J., did you, uh, notice those holes in the wall when you were in the mens room?”
JJ: “Yeah, that was weird…”
George: “Heh. Yeah. Hey, whaddaya say we get outta here?”
“So you didn’t actually direct Empire or do the screenplay?”
(”Ah, it all makes sence now” *snigger*)
OK George—how much will ILM charge for a CG 30 year old Kirk???
“… and then the andorian said
“Thats not my antenna”"
“How about just one finger?”
“Nah, I like a whole fist”
“Get it? The Klingon said “That’s not were you put Gagh”
“I don’t get it”
”Franchise? Out of danger?”
”I’m not touching you. I’m not touching you…”
You’re kidding right? You don’t ACTUALLY carry around a lock of Warwick Davis’ hair..
Here’s my caption:
“While we are the subject of Franchise Re-inventing… what’s this stuff about Greedo shooting first?
“Best of Both Worlds”
“ewok vs tribbles”
“can you think of a way to work Kirk into my movie? I got nothing…”
Abrams: So you’re really the inspiration for Denny Crane!
Lucas: George Lucas.
Abrams : No (incredulous).No midgets in bear suits.
“J.J…..I am your father.”
JJ, is that a lightsaber in your hand or are you just happy to see me.
Lucas: Nah, don’t worry about it – most fans don’t know what they’re talking about! Besides, in a few years, you can always go back and make changes, if necessary.
no George – this is how you open a communicator
Lucas: A star destroyer would SO pwn the Enterpise.
J.J.: Well… A double-dumbass on you!
JJ: “Trilogy, schmilogy. We’re goin’ for a decadilogy!”
Lucas: “Right on! Pass the terra mesu.”
You have very nice eyes….
JJ: So my Idea is to digital recreate skinny shatner and nimoy and then replace them with new actors, and then can you help me i need a good third….
GL. Jar Jar is the best.
JJ. not really what i was going for…
GL He sells really really well. Good to get the kiddies.
JJ. O.k. How about Portman?
GL No, she only takes great screenplays.
JJ: stares madly.
JJ: Is it true Natalie Portman is both matter and anti-matter, ifyouknowwhatImean?
GL: Don’t go there, JJ.
JJ: I was thinkin’ Rand and Uhura in the sonic shower…
GL: That’s a very different kind of movie.
Damn! #166 beat me to it!
Lucas: *SPIT TAKE* JJ is short for JAR JAR!?!
That’s funny…..you don’t look anything like Barbara Streisand!
“If ILM can give me a discount on the effects work, I’ll tell you who gets off the island.”
Slight rework:
“I’ll tell you what, if ILM can give me a discount on the effect work, I’ll tell you who gets off the island.”
To live long and prosper the force must be with you
I having a problem casting can you speak Klingon
Some more priceless gems…
J.J.: “Come on George, admit that your neck is just a special effect you use to scare away vampires.”
Or…
J.J.: “And you thought I wanted to, George? You KNOW I’m narcoleptic.”
Or…
J.J.: “You know George, now that I think about it, it did itch a little.”
Or perhaps:
J.J.: “Listen, Santa Claus…”
Or the short film:
INT. RESTAURANT – MIDDAY
J.J.: “Diarrhea!”
George: “Yes, the whole time.”
J.J.: “But how did you finish the prequels…”
George: “From the toilet. With an extension cord and a 2021 Mac laptop from the future.”
J.J.: “Wow.”
George: “Money, J.J. Money can buy you anything. Even time travel.”
And finally, my last attempt:
J.J.: “Uhura? I always thought you were a Deanna Troi kind of guy.”
Wait… you’re not Gene?
….Star Trek?? I thought you were Drew Carry. Check please.
So, I should give this guy… Rick Berman… a call? Yeah, the fans will love it, huh?
“Ok, George, OK, don’t hit me! I PROMISE I won’t put Tom Cruise in the movie!”
I gotta tell ya, #3 is tops in my opinion.
You’re like the billionth person that doesn’t like the name “Wreck.” Like “Phantom Menace” was any better…
“Yeah? Well, at least I have done something else besides Star Trek… er, or about to… maybe!”
Okay, not great but accurate. LOL
For the last time George, a parsec is a measure of distance not time!
“Replace Shatner with Chewbacca hmmmm……..”
So you say it’s a galaxy far far away, so how long would it take at warp 9?
#149 = THE WINNA!
“George, I know you THINK it’s a good idea but chopping off every Klingon’s right hand at the end of the movie just doesn’t make sense…”
What,,,,,Anthony Pascale stalks you for movie details too!!!
“I’m using ILM for the movie…YOU pick up the tab.”
JJ meets George Lucas his idol,,,and blows the hole meeting with one question,,,,,
So, when is “Star Wars, The Holiday Special,,Special Edition” comming out ?
JJ: Wait, you did a space movie, too?!
Lucas: “Can I play the bad guy? The fanboys will love that.”
Abrams: “OK, but Kirk shoots first.”
Lucas: “It’s Star TREK, not Star WARS…”
Abrams: “Uh, oh…”
“Wait… I’m gonna look like YOU in thirty years?!? Oh, Christ….”
Lucas: “JJ stands for Jimm Johnson, right?”
Abrams: “Star Trek XI is not a fan film!”
Lucas: “REALLY ?”
J.J: George, can you give me tips on how to handle the fans?
G.L.: The who?
J.J.: “I know Nicholas Meyer…and you, sir, are NO Nicholas Meyer.”
George Lucas: ” You didn’t create Star Trek, so you’re out on the merchandising. ”
Abrams: ” DAMN ! “
Once again Lucas falls prey to the Vulcan Pull My Finger Trick!
So that’s why warp drive is theoretically possible and the idea of a hyper-drive is utterly ridiculous.
OK, I’m gonna try this joke again and this time, it’s gonna be funny…
In 1989, Gerry Garcia and Elvis Costello share (count em) 9 drinks and talk about how totally cool the Star Wars trilogy is and why TOS-era movies are the only ones audiences will ever accept.
“whoever smeltit, delt it!”!!
FM!!
oops — Jerry, sted Gerry.
Are you William Shatner?
149 FTW, 149 FTW
It ain’t for the Trek, it ain’t for the Star Wars…it’s about the BADONKEY DONK!
J.J.: How do you sleep at night, knowing you did episodes 1-3?
G.L.: On a big pile of money.
J.J.: Can you give me Natalie Portman’s phone number?
G.L.: Give me Jennifer Gardner’s, and it’s a deal!
or….
JJ: “So, I’ve heard that you can actually inflate your neck like a Bullfrog…”
JJ: “See this finger? I’ve got more filmaking talent right there than you have in your entire fist.”
J.J: So, How’s the new Indiana Jones coming along?
G.L: It’s been two long months of hard work, but I finally got Spielberg to tell me where they’re shooting.
JJ: Okay, so the Enterprise and Millenium Falcon are moving away from each other at 86,000 kiloters per second, and one of them decreases speed 50% after 10 minutes, how far apart are they after 1 hour?
JJ: No, no. The cloaking device was OUR idea first!!
“You too??? ‘No, Shatner is not in the film!’”
J.J: Be honest, did you really had a trilogy planed out when you started shooting the first Star Wars?
G.L: Did you really had the plot of Lost planed out when you started filming it?
J.J: Touché
JJ: So you’re saying I should make Kate and Jack, brother and sister?
GEORG: Yeah, and then the whole island could be run by a bunch of little people. Kind of like Gulliver’s Travels.
Look JJ have some confidence in yourself. You, Me, Shatner and Nimoy we are all part of the tribe. The chosen tribe. The chosen people. Gods people. We learn to deal with the Schmucks. :)
G.L: Mention the Christmases special one more time and I’ll shove this fist where no man has gone before!
JJ: What do you mean, “The Star Trek IV Special Edition can’t have E.T.’s in the Council Chamber scene”?
JJ: You know, all that CGI in the special editions, and you still managed to miss fixing the green slave’s exposed breast in Jabba’s throne room.
JJ: Calm down, George, Quark should be here with our drinks any second.
GL: Established Canon? What’s that?
JJ: So he says to the guy, “You can stay, but the Ferengi in the clown suit has gotta go!!”
JJ: I’m serious, George. I think “THX1138: The Musical” is a great idea.
GL: So, we at Skywalker Ranch have this betting pool. How many times is “47″ going to appear in the next Star Trek movie?
J.J: Mister Lucas! I’m such a big fan of your work!
G.L: Why thank you, it’s always a pleasure to meet…
J.J: Except for the prequel trilogy naturally….
G.L: Well, still, it’s nice to….
J.J: And Return of the Jedi was a childish ripoff of A New Hope…
G.L: Um….
J.J: Come to think of it, A New Hope wasn’t that great either, But I still love your work on The Empire Strikes Back!
G.L: Security!!!
Lucas: Doing a prequel, eh?
Abrams: Yeah.
Lucas: I’ve got loads of experience with prequels, need an A-list hand?
Abrams: Get out.
J.J: No George, I don’t think anyone would be interested in a special edition Howard the Duck.
ABRAMS:
…and a construction job of that magnitude would require a helluva lot more manpower than the Imperial army had to offer. I’ll bet there were independent contractors working on that second Death Star in “Jedi”: plumbers, aluminum siders, roofers.
LUCAS:
So?…what makes you so uneasy about its destruction?
ABRAMS:
So?!…all those innocent contractors, who were just hired to do a job, were killed — casualties of a war they had nothing to do with. Any contractors working on the uncompleted Death Star were just INNOCENT VICTIMS when it was destroyed by the rebels!
**Apologies to Kevin Smith for paraphrasing his classic work**
J.J: I know you make most of your money from merchandising, But wasn’t the princess Amidala morning after pills a step too far?
G.L: Ha, My franchise is bigger then yours!
J.J: It’s not the size that matter, but how you use it!
JJ: George, You owe me for choosing ILM for Star Trek 2008.
George: Sorry JJ, there’s no room In Indian Jones for William Shatner.
So now that I have control of the franchise, you’re saying I can simply go back and redo the scene in Generations where Kirk dies? People will buy that?
“That’s a nice shirt, George. Didn’t I see Spielberg wearing that yesterday?”
“You want to really freak out that guy taking the picture? On the count of three, I say we start making out. One…….”
JJ: For chrissakes George, let it go! I am not puting Howard The Duck in Star Trek!!!
295. sorry… I missed yours ;)
…So you’re saying exfoliate first, then massage in a circular motion… Ohhhh…
JJ: How ’bout you and me get together to make a crossover, eh?
JJ: Now tell me again how do I do a successful prequel, without tainting the original concept?
GL: Huh…I think I still have the Star Wars work print somewhere unaltered.
JJ: You’ve altered it that much that you have no idea if it still exists! What’s Steven’s number?
Aren’t you dead?
“The Master and the Apprentice”
Future “Rock, Paper, Scissors”
JJ: Phasers beat lightsabers!
GL: Do not!
JJ: Do too!
etc…
ABRAMS: How’d you get past my bodyguards? Jedi mind trick?
LUCAS: Vulcan nerve pinch.
ABRAMS: Touché.
#25
Kudos! Making Lemonade out of that Star Trek V lemon.
Sarek would be proud, o Son of Sarek.
( I really looked at the photo- take a look at JJ’s expression)
Abrams to Lucas:
“You mean all those Kurosawa references were really just B.S and you made the sh*t up as you went along??!”
wow this is a lot of captions…although a lot of them seem to be variations of each other. I think I count 2 or 3 versions of my #3 suggestion.
anyway keep it up…maybe we will award more than one poster.
also take a look at the update photo John got (see above)
The King is dead…
Long live the King!
Amazing how much JJ resembled 1980’s Lucas, and how Lucas now resembles a Wookie.
“Rock beats paper!”
“Light saber beats all”
“i bet they’ll wonder what we’re saying. they might even start a silly little contest on Trekmovie.com”
“So you really think a Jar-Jar cameo would be in the film’s best interests?”
“No, George; I don’t need any help with the romance scenes….and I won’t be hiring Hayden Christensen either!”
“Oh, come on; Kirk with a phaser would soooo beat Vader with Force Grip…”
“How long do we have to pose like this?” “Just long enough for all the fans to finish taking snapshots….”
“For the last time, J.J; ILM’s mine! You can’t have it.”
On the new pic, Roddenberry’s saying: “Yeah, but my Mrs. still has the little blue mini and go-go boots. Hey, it’s Saturday night. I gotta get home!”
@243: You sir, are a genius. I could see everyone of those play out in my head.
“oota goota, Lucas?”
(going somewhere, Lucas?)
“yes, J.J. As a matter of fact, I was just going to see your boss. Tell Paramount that I’ve got their money!”
This is just awesome!!!
JJ: George, take the holodeck out of monochrome or I phaser you. This is NOT Captain Proton.
George: Although…
JJ: We could turn Trek XI into “The Adventures of Captain Proton”!
Lucas: Can Captain Proton have a light sabre?
JJ: Sure, we’ll reimagine it a bit. Damn, everything in Trek now is happening on the holodeck…the fans will love this…it’ll be like…a birthday card to the fans. On the holodeck.
J.J. “the effects for the movie are going to cost how much? Hell, Lucas, what does ILM stand for, I LIKE MONEY??”
[IMG]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f100/rhomenwild/georgeshotfirst.jpg[/IMG]
http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f100/rhomenwild/georgeshotfirst.jpg
http://s45.photobucket.com/albums/f100/rhomenwild/?action=view¤t=georgeshotfirst.jpg
Early August 2007…
George Walton Lucas Jr., the legendry film director of the world famous Star Wars Saga, the adventurous Indiana Jones series and more, had a nice quite dinner with, the already popular, Jeffrey Jacob Abrams, .
George Lucas: So, just Star Trek?
J. J. Abrams: Yeah, why?
George Lucas: Nice title…
J. J. Abrams: Oh come on! Whats wrong with it!?
George Lucas: Nothing…
J. J. Abrams: Come on, tell me whats wrong with title!?
George Lucas: Nothing!
J. J. Abrams: Listen, coming form a person who named one of his movies just “Star Wars,” you shouldn’t be complaining.
George Lucas: It’s actually called “Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope.”
J. J. Abrams: Oh well (J.J. rolled his eyes), if you want to get technical.
George Lucas: I herd a rumor that you’re going to do a prequel.
J. J. Abrams: Yep…
George Lucas: Are you sure you want to go that way?
J. J. Abrams: Yeah, why.
George Lucas: Well, I went that way and I-
J. J. Abrams: Oh god! Please don’t remide me! You know how many fans were devastated?
George Lucas: Let me guess because of him?
J. J. Abrams: Yes! Who the hell do you think!?
George Lucas: Jar Jar Binks…
J. J. Abrams (with sarcasm): No! Obi-Wan Kenobi!
George Lucas: Check please!
GL: “Search your feelings, J.J. You know it to be true. Yo soy tu papa!”
Caption contest aside…If I may speculate….Lucas may be developing a creative relationship with JJ (similar to Speilberg) in which JJ may someday have some input in the new Star Wars TV series.
Always two there are…A master and an apprentice.
“Well if I could move that way I wouldn’t need a remaster.”
JJ and George worked long in the night and finally discovered the perfect way to include Shatner, resolve Kirk’s death and make Star Trek XI the movie every fanboy dreams of. Unfortunately, after consuming enough alcohol to burst Scotty’s liver, they passed out and couldn’t remember a thing the next morning.
a) JJ: So that’s how the yankees lost yesterday huh?
B) Let’s get the right pose!
“So, you’re saying something’s actually living in that chin?”
Please don’t crush my hand, Mr. Roddenberry.
324 Funny stuff !
your beat reminds me of the “in bed” at the end of all read- aloud fortune cookies .
Sadly, I actually liked Captain Proton….
Hey, 326 Great Photoshppage! Clearly Abrams will shoot first…
on the holodeck.
These Star Trek fans are driving me crazy,
do you get that with Star Wars fans too ?
why did you pinch the waitress on the arse for ???
I’ll help you bring back Vader,, If you can help me bring back Kirk
look George, I know you have a drinking problem, Look at all the glasses on the table !!
I dont care if your George Lucas,, this is MY table buddy !
So,, you were in the Vader suit ?
ok dont hit me,, I’ll tell you about “star Trek”
#17
FutureGuy: “Misa is muy muy grateful dat Suliban try kill Archer!”
Even notice that JarJar sounds like tickle-me-elmo on steroids?
how did you super-glue your hand together like that ??
#336 — I actually liked Captain Proton too — until they made an entire episode dedicated to it. In general, Voyager really let the holodeck get out of control (Fair Haven, anyone?).
A birthday card to the fans in bed? What’s that — 7 of 9 in a gold bikini (throw-back to #149).
YOU broke Mark Hamills nose with your fist ?? I thought it was a car crash
Anthony Pascale calls you too !,,
Re: my #324 — it occurs to me that “a Christmas card to the fans” would be more appropriate than “a birthday card to the fans.”
how come i can’t post a link to the pic I made?
J.J. Abrams: So when did you decide to make the Prequels sucky?
George Lucas: When i knew I could just make a ton of money on the popularity and hype from the last films.
J.J. Abrams: But that’s wrong!
George Lucas: That’s business!
[...] This photo was posted by the good folks over at Trek Movie and was taken only last month. Maybe Lucas is up for the role of Scotty? [...]
JJ: So I got this great idea for the Villain. He’s gonna wear a black leather suit with a helmet and mask and maybe a cape too. I was thinking of James Earl Jones to do the voice. And then get this, at the end of the movie we find out that he’s actually Kirk’s father! What do you think?
Lucas: WOW! Great idea. How do you come up with this stuff………..HEY!!!!!!!!!
BTW: Awesome to see that pic of Roddenberry and Lucas together. Makes you believe that Star Trek and Star Wars can live harmoniously together!
#53 takes the cake as far as captions go. I think it’s great. Although #2 has some merit as well.
I keep telling you, George, i’m NOT Jeff goldblum!
GL: “Is it too late to try out for Scotty? I’ve been working on my Scottish accent…”
JJ: “Scotty wasn’t fat in the original series, George. I’m Sorry”
“Ok. A Star Trek/Star Wars crossover. That will be big. But what should we call it, JJ?”.
“Hmm… You know, I think I’ve got it George, ‘RAT STARS REST WARK!’”
Abrams:
…As a matter of fact, George, I was just going to see your
boss. Tell Jabba that I’ve got his money.
( two sci-fi guys into numberoligy )
J. J : 4 8 15 16 23 42
George : 1138
( then J. J. notices something )
J. J : Has anyone told you that you look like Jerry Garcia of the Greatful Dead ?
George : Must be this black an white filter ILM’s is experimenting with.
J. J : Anyway, you met Gene Roddenberry years ago ?
George : Yes I did….
( LOST style flashback )
Gene : Hello George, I like your work, it’s pretty good stuff.
George : Hello Gene, why that you, if it hadn’t been for what you did I could of never done it.
Ok can you let go on my hand now Gene…Gene? Gene! Let go of that hand!! GENE! AGRAHHHHHHHH!! HE’S CRUSHING MY HAND!! GET HIM OFF MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!
Two Captains … One Destiny
JJ: George, you can’t expect me to cast you as Scotty solely on the basis of how much you drank tonight!
“Damn it, George, punching me won’t change the fact that a parsec is a measure of distance, not time!”
I like # 355
In an amazing display of strength, Gene Roddenberry beheaded a man using only one arm of Star Wars visionary George Lucas.
JJ: So is that the arm Roddenberry used on that guy?
GC: Yeah … Haven’t been able to use it since.
sorry .. GC should be GL….
duh.
George: I’m going to make three more Star Wars movies.
Gene: Over my dead body!
George: . . . Star Trek without Shatner? Are you serious??
GL: The most powerful weapon? The lightsaber of course!
JJ: You’ve got to be kidding? The hand phaser will win every time!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooo!!!!!
And Im not going to say anything about the movie,,until its almost out,, its going to drive them all NUTS !
you had black hair once too ???
Gimmie yaa wallet,, my fingers loaded !
What the hell do you mean,, ILM dont do Star Trek models ????
I thought you payed for the drinks!
Why do you come here anyway,, no-one else does
“You’re the dude who played Sha-ka-ree, and you made Star Wars? Oh, snap!”
wow look,,, white hair,,black hair,,,,white shirt,,,black shirt,,,young man,,
old man,,
wait dont hit me !!
Martman
I think you have enough entries now
“Damnit, George, I’m a director, not a bartender!”
and Iike 313….funny Mctrekkie.
Paper, scissors, my ass! A gun is always better than a rock!
So George you come here often?? Sorry JJ?? I was lost in your eyes..
Whadda ya mean?, You don’t need a light saber? ( As a familiar hum starts to eminate from Lucas’s fist )
I always thought you were a two-fisted drinker.
So you’re telling me that you paid for Star Wars by crushing wine glasses in your hand and creating diamonds with the Force?
No George. The expression is ” I drink like I’ve got a hollowed leg.” not a hollowed arm.
Look George. Snatching the pebble from my hand does not make you Kwai Chang Caine! and stop calling me Grasshopper!
I’m telling you the truth, George! A guy named Senor Wences used to throw his voice and make his fist talk!
Come on, George. Roll a two and it will be Jumanji!!
That’s right, George! The Enterprise goes back in time through a worm-hole no bigger than your fist. Amazing, Huh? Should cut down on the budget for special effects, right?
“Picture it: Ensign Jar Jar Binks…he can even wear a redshirt!”
That’s right. Pretend your fist is the Death Star and my hand is the new Borg ship. I declare “Resistance is Futile!” and you clobber me with the Force. Should keep both franchises going for awhile, right?
So I thought I would combine Kurt Weill with Gene Roddenberry and call it “Lost in the Stars Trek” and make a musical out of it. I have two numbers for Shatner and Nimoy. Shatner does, of course, “Rocket Man” and Nimoy does that “Bitter Dregs” from “Plato’s Stepchildren”
George: Well, JJ , I remember it like yesterday (Memory Flutter – flutter- flutter- going back in time)
Dan Madsen: Gene, this is George Lucas, the creator of Star Wars.
Gene: ( with a look of jealousy in his eyes) Well George ,nice to meet you ( As Gene starts to apply an Indian Rug Burn on George’s arm)
George: …..And that is why I have no hair on this arm.
On post 84 commenting on post 76 He is not trolling , he’s just a troll. on Post 26 sometimes quantity has some quality in it. Back to post 76 when you are producing something and or writing something aside from being negative maybe your life will be better and just accept things as they are.
JJ: So what was the deal with all the lightsaber duels taking place near bottomless pits?
J.J.: “You may have billions of dollars and a media empire, but I have one thing you’ll NEVER have!”
George: “And what’s that?”
J.J.: “Jennifer Garner’s phone number.”
George for the last time stop referring to me as your young Padawan!
ABRAMS: Did…did you just touch my face while I was going for my wallet?
LUCAS: Got your nose.
J.J.: “arm wrestle YOU for all the marbles? Personally, George, after watching your three prequels, I don’t think you’ve got a marble left!”
JJ: No, George, how many times do I have to tell you? In episode 31, the Enterprise was clutched by a hand, like this. There was NO giant fist threatening to smash it. Not Apollo’s fist, not Yoda’s fist — not ANY fist!
GL: A liar are you — Yoda’s fist that was! Apollo’s friend had been Yoda, Apollo’s friend shall Yoda be always!
JJ: I should *never* have bought you that 5th drink…
*a camera flashes*
JJ: Saved by the paparazzi!
GL: A private dinner at, no less…
((Forgive my bad Yoda-speak…Object-Verb-Subject structure isn’t as easy as it seems…))
So George, what’s the best way to destroy a hugely popular, multi-generational sci-fi franchise?
ABRAMS: Did you just take my Amex card off the table?
LUCAS: They don’t need to see our identification.
ABRAMS: Put it back…unless you’re buying.
I don’t want or need a poster, but I have some:
10. JJ: “You’ve got a bad feeling about this!?!”
9. JJ: “You mean your going to rerelease those films again with even more changes and make another billion?”
8. George: “You know, Greedo did not shoot originally.”
JJ: “So, you decided to screw that great scene up later?”
7. George: “I think there’s a guy taking a picture of us, across the street. So, you point your finger at me and I’ll stare at you and he’ll get his picture and go.”
6. JJ: “You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ me? Well, I’m the only one….wait…ummmmm….never mind.”
5. JJ: “Ohhhhhhhhhh….So Leia meant the Queen of Alderaan when she said her she had few memories of her mother because she died when she was very young.”
George: “Duh.”
JJ: “YOU CALLIN’ ME DUMB!!!!! Don’t make me get midevil!”
4. JJ: “I loved it when you had E.T. AND Eliot point fingers….”
George: That wasn’t me. That was Steven.”
JJ: ” But didn’t you have E.T. in the first prequel?”
George: “Well, yeah. But no Eliot.”
JJ: “Then who the hell was that anoying kid?”
3. George: “Where’s Shatner?”
JJ: “You mean, you didn’t invite him?”
2. JJ: “You change for $1,000,000?”
And finally……………
1. JJ: “You think you met a lot of virgins!”
JJ – “Hey George do you think if they took a photo of us talking it’ll make over 400 posts on Trekmovie.com?”
Gene – “Pleased to meet you Steven… I really loved 1941..”
JJ – “You want me to direct full movie adaptation of Mel Brook’s ‘Jews in Space’ instead? What makes you think I’m fit to direct a comedy?”
GL – “I thought ‘Lost’ was pretty funny.”
JJ – “‘Lost’ is supposed to be a drama, not a comedy.”
GL – “That’s not important right now. Listen, I wield alot of power in this industry. If you want to be successful then I suggest you do what I say.”
JJ – *sighs, then looks down at his plate* “Who did you have in mind for Captain Goldberg?”
So in the spirit of altruism let me say that, for me at least, it helps to visualize the caption as a caption and not as a post. And no, this is not a contest entry :P
How much is ILM?! Can I borrow your copy of Adobe After Effects then?
…a little does the public realize that “1-18-08″ is the setup for the Eugenics Wars and World War III. The guy in the Slusho T-shirt? Yeah, he’s Kirk…
“That really is a dead-on impression of Rick Moranis.”
“You like it? It’s great to do at cocktail hours and parties.”
GL – What happened to Berman?
JJ – That name no longer has any meaning!
*actually is there a photo of Lucas with Berman anywhere? bet there isnt.*
JJ: I appreciate the offer, but you’re too old to play Scotty.
JJ: George, please! I understand the merchandising potential of the movie but there is no way to make Targs cute!?!
GL: I made Wookies cute! Shrink ‘em down… scrunch ‘em up… give ‘em high-pitched cutsie voices… Voila! Ewoks!
JJ: Yeah, so I end up with a fucking Klingon Chihuahua!
Roddenberry: George Lucas? A pleasure to meet you! Enormous respect for your work! By the way, you owe me some money, I think?
Re: 207
Abrams: “So anyway, I was hoping that I’d be able to use ILM for the special effects.”
Lucas: “Ooooo, effects! my favorate subject!”
Abrams: “uh yes. But I’d like to go for a more traditional approach though, because to me its got a more realistic feel to it.”
Lucas: “Traditional? You mean you don’t want to use much CGI?”
Abrams: “No, not really.”
Lucas: “But why not?!”
Abrams: “Well you see …..”
Lucas: “If you use LOADS of CGI then that means you have to use loads of Blue Screen! I love Blue Screen! Blue is my favorate colour! My bedroom was blue when I was a kid,(maybe that’s why I like it so much!)”
Abrams: “Listen George, about the Blue Screen….”
Lucas: “Yay Blue screen!!! Buy as much as you can possibly get your hands on! Nah, don’t bother making models, or building any sets, or even making costumes – you can dress everyone in blue!”
Abrams: “Uh, George….”
Lucas: “Ooooo, I’ve got an idea!! Buy a massive tin of blue paint…”.
Abrams: “George…”
Lucas: “….put it in the middle of the soundstage…”
Abrams “George!”
Lucas: “…get all your actors to get on the stage aswell, and then light a firework inside the tin of paint!!”
#417 — And then when the director of the Actor’s Guilds brings up an investigation into how the explosion killed one actor and harmed the other 4 that were on stage, just don’t say anything and they’ll let you get away with it, because suspicion is no basis for actually punishing someone for killing somebody.
re: my #419 — I meant that as a reply to #418, not #417. Sorry
Etha, I take it you’re not a John Landis fan?
George: Okay, here’s the deal. I’ll introduce you to Natalie, if you introduce me to Zach.
JJ: But George, you know he likes girls, don’t you.
George: Tell him I’m like this!
JJ: Sure you can be a Klingon, George. Just get Shatner off my back!
George: You want I should punch him out for you?
Lucas experiences the thrill of time travel as he tries to talk his younger self out of the Star Wars prequels.
J.J.: “You say you’re actually proud of the Jar Jar Binks character! Proud? You??”
#329 Caption contest aside…If I may speculate….Lucas may be developing a creative relationship with JJ (similar to Speilberg) in which JJ may someday have some input in the new Star Wars TV series.
Yeah Jon, you may be right…..this may be the most important thing to come out of this.
426 posts. OK Anthony what’s it gonna take? I just want a teaser poster, Please?
Ooohh, I just watched your interview ion Shatnervision. My, what an intelligent, witty, quite charming fellow, really, you seem to be. You’re a man of high character, I can tell. Why, I’m certain your rapier wit and devil-may-care attitude is all the rage with the fairer sex.
Please can I have a poster, please?
“You wrote those? But you’re really old!”
A secret meeting somewhere in a hollywood convention center brings the implausible into the possible: A cinematic showdown between the Death Star and The Borg Cube. Which one will win? Find out in two years..movie yet untitled…
“You know, I think you’re right, I think a jar Jar Binks type character has a place in Star Trek XI…”
live long and prosper.
i will do neither, cause i have killed my wife and tried to kill my best friend
JJ: You mean you actually wrote the script after you shot the movie?!
Yeah..im with number 427…let’s hear the reults!
im filled with anticipation…
remember….im number 322 supplemented with cool photoshopage on number 326!!
who is the winner??
Hah!
I’m 281, but I’d vote for 432!
BTW, by actually entering this contest, commenting on my own post, and voting for someone else’s post, I guess I’m now “officially” excited about the movie!
Go, JJ! (And, please, please don’t disappoint!)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull???
You mean . . . we can make it so that Khan shot first??
Was a winner chosen?
What was the winning caption?
George Lucas: “Just remember, kid, you don’t have to make it perfect the first time.”
JJ: No George its “Star Trek” not “Star Wars”
George: Ohhhh? I’m not too familiar with that.
Advice to JJ Abrams from George Lucas:
“The key to success is to make up random stuff and hope people like it.”
“Let you use ILM? HAHA! That’s funny! I gotta tell my wife that one!”
“Klingons and Gungans just don’t mix.”
“Ideas are like old hyperdrives; sometimes they work, sometimes they don’t.”
“You know, I got the idea for the Milleneum Falcon from a cheeseburger. No joke!”
JJ: “And you thought your fans were picky!”
Was a winner chosen?
I remember back in the day…………….
and the winner is…..number 400….Paul with:
George for the last time stop referring to me as your young Padawan!
Even excluding the ones I submitted, there were much funnier ones than THAT!!
I agree
I demand a recount !!
:-)
I don’t think that one should have won. I mean, JJ looks confused/astonished and GL has a smug look on his face like he just told JJ something. The winning caption doesn’t fit the picture.
I demand a recount,,,
no wait,, Im going back in time,, I’ll put in the winning caption,,,and,,
I’ll get the winning poster ! Woot !!
Muhahahahahaaaa,,,,,
now,, uummm,, Anyone out there with a spear trans-warp drive capable of sublight speed?
or maybe a DeLorean I could borrow ???
I have a flux capacitor that I’ll use but I’ll promise to uninstall it after I get back.
– I don’t think that one should have won. I mean, JJ looks confused/astonished and GL has a smug look on his face like he just told JJ something. The winning caption doesn’t fit the picture. –
It’s true.
That caption totally doesn’t fit the picture.
“Paul” is looking suspiciously like a ringer to me. As Will Riker once said, “It’s better to be lucky than good.”
But, let’s not be too sour grapes.
Enjoy your prize, Paul.
we need a jew president to get us out of this debt