Watch: Stephen Colbert’s Warning Of Warp-Capable Iran |
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Watch: Stephen Colbert’s Warning Of Warp-Capable Iran January 10, 2012

by Staff , Filed under: Great Links,Humor,Trek Franchise,Viral Video/Mashup/Images , trackback

Last night brought another fun mix of national and international politics and Star Trek. When The Colbert Report analyzed the previous weekend’s GOP presidential debates, Stephen Colbert found a new danger for us all to worry about: a warp-capable Iran. Watch the clip below.


Colbert Warns of Warp Capable Iranians

Last night Stephen Colbert, who has made many Trek references in the past, once again went to the final frontier with a jab at Gov. Rick Perry’s comment about the Iranians moving "literally at light speed". Colbert saw the real threat of a warp-capable Iran. Watch the clip (via Comedy Central).

The Colbert Report
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For those that cant see the video, here at least is a screencap of the Star Trek illustration, warning of Iranian President "Mahmoud Ahmakirkejad" achieving warp speed and capturing 72 space virgins.

A warp capable Iran is a threat to the galaxy!

Thanks to Bernie for the tip.


1. Borgminister - January 10, 2012

Stephen, Stephen! I’ve come to appreciate him more than John Stewart, who’s a bit too full of himself lately. Staying in ‘character’ like Colbert without an ensemble cast is much more difficult too.

2. rm10019 - January 10, 2012

Colbert is brilliant.

3. VulcanFilmCritic - January 10, 2012

Mahmoud Ahmakirkejad. Of course! I couldn’t decide who was more of a tin-plated, overbearing, swaggering dictator with delusions of godhood: Mahmoud Ahmadinejad or James T. Kirk.
Actually I think the honor goes to William Shatner.

4. Commodore Mike of the Terran Empire - January 10, 2012

This guy is just to funny. LMFAO

5. Planet Pandro - January 10, 2012

Love Star Trek.

Love Colbert.


P.S. BobOrci…put Colbert in the new movie, we need a crass “space pundit” to judge the doing’s of Peter Weller’s “CEO”

(just kidding. sort of.)

6. Ensign jack - January 10, 2012

Colbert should play the president of the federation! Colbert ‘2337!!!

7. AJ - January 10, 2012

I loved watching Colbert talking with Elijah Wood about “Happy Feet II” before he got his geek on after about 90 seconds about Frodo’s appearance in “The Hobbit.”

Colbert is a total geek, and Trek is often on his radar, thank goodness.

8. Anthony Thompson - January 10, 2012

I get a kick out of Ahmadinejad. : ) He’s alright in my book. He looks pretty good in Kirk’s uniform, too! But, sadly, the beard has to go. They are only allowed in the parallel universe Star Fleet. : (

9. Horatio - January 10, 2012

Ewwwww. Seeing that rat Aquavelvetjhad in a starfleet uniform makes my stomach turn.

10. I'm Dead Jim! - January 10, 2012

If she was in the same room with James T. Kirk, she’s no virgin. Ahmakirkejad will have to warp to somewhere else.

11. Anthony Pascale - January 10, 2012

A reminder that this site is not the site for partisan attacks.

12. Uncle Dave - January 10, 2012

Ummm… Anthony.

[i]Not for partisan attacks? Have you read some of the posts? [/i] Admittedly most of the ‘intense discussions’ regard fictitious characters involved in some sort of trek across the stars… ;)

At least we can admit that any comedic reference to the President of Iran can be a humanizing thing ;)

13. rm10019 - January 10, 2012

12 – You must be kidding… or are you literally (get it) that silly ;)

14. Basement Blogger - January 10, 2012

Well, I may disagree with some of the things J.J. Abrams does in his films but we agree on one thing. We love Stephen Colbert. Check out the TrekMovie story with interviews by Colbert with Abrams. Love that Romulan get up. I’m guesing that Colbert is Abrams’ favorite satirist. Plus check out the interview with physicist Brian Greene where Colbert channels “Mirror, Mirror” in their discussion of parallel universes.

1. Colbert interviews J.J. Abrams

2. Colbert’s interview with Brian Greene

15. Vultan - January 10, 2012


That’s probably because Ahmadinejad IS from the parallel universe. He certainly acts it, the sleaze.

The guy’s as bad as an Illinois Nazi.

16. Commodore Adams - January 10, 2012

Cant watch this in Canada.

I am seriously sick of this American only BS!

Or your “only in the 48 states” BS.

17. rogue_alice - January 10, 2012

I like Stephen.

18. Basement Blogger - January 10, 2012

@ 16

What is going on in Canada? I can’t leave videos for our Harry Ballz from NBC. Are they mad about the McKenzie Brothers. :-)

19. Dilithium doublebock - January 10, 2012

#15. I hate Illinois Nazis :)

20. Andy Patterson - January 10, 2012

Funny, but I’m offended to see Ahmakirkejad as Kirk. And in the cool wrap around tunic too.

And 19, ah, you beat me to it.

21. Commodore Mike of the Terran Empire - January 10, 2012

Hey Vultan. We here in the Empire do not claim Imbenanutjob. in fact. We are looking for him. We have a new and Improved Agony booth that we need him to step into. I myself will work the controls.

22. Captain Karl - January 10, 2012

well there was that report on that had an Iranian claiming they used their flying saucers with antigrav technology and force fields to bring down the CIA drone and place it gently on the Iranian desert floor….

23. workforkirk! - January 10, 2012

Yesssss, Colbert, WORK!
Thanks for unmasking Iran’s true intentions! LOVING the Iran Trek reference..

24. Sebastian S. - January 10, 2012

“(Iran) moving into Iraq at iterally the speed of light”.

The Iranian warp propulsion theorist Zefreem Q’achran must be hard at work…

25. Vultan - January 10, 2012


Forgive me, Commodore! I sometimes forget this site has a portal into the parallel universe. No offense intended.

But if you find Aquavelvajihad, crank the agony booth to maximum. You’ll be doing both universes a favor.

26. MikeTen - January 10, 2012

#6, that’s a great idea, Colbert would make the perfect Federation President. In the Prime universe we have Red Forman as Federation President but in the Alternate universe we have Colbert. He can even have a goatee.

27. Phil - January 10, 2012

@21. New and improved version….set it and forget it?

28. Trekker5 - January 10, 2012

Colbert is awesome!! :)

29. Clinton - January 10, 2012

Colbert must be writing his next book “I am the Federation, and you can, too. “

30. bgdrewsif - January 10, 2012

god I love Colbert…and for #16… CBC and CTV, and the BBC, and a lot of other foreign outlets block their content from being seen here in the USA… your only gripe is that 95% of the funny online content is made here in the USA and you don’t get to have it… in fact about 50% of that 95% of good content is from Canadians we have imported to the USA to work for us… HA!

31. Captain Conrad - January 10, 2012

That was awesome! I’m not a huge Colbert fan, but that was well worth my time.

And now for a political response:

SISKO/WARF 2012!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

32. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 11, 2012

#21 – Commodore Mike

So I take it that you have also upgraded the agonizer as well which means that you have left Bob Orci with an archaic agonizer, a dud, which you probably wouldn’t want back anyway, now that you have upgraded. I’m not sure how Bob Orci feels about this situation. It is possible that he may be looking for an agonizer upgrade of his own, just for use on you, given what you left him with.

Interesting times indeed…:)

33. Newman - January 11, 2012

Silly Iran, everyone knows that Orion women aren’t virgins

34. Cervantes - January 11, 2012

If there is any justice in this universe, certain ‘believers’ will actually end up with ONE ‘virgin’ that’s 72 YEARS OLD!

35. jamesingeneva - January 11, 2012

OMG that was a riot. Thanks for sharing!

36. Captain Hackett - January 11, 2012

Just nuke Iran! ;)

37. Commodore Mike of the Terran Empire - January 11, 2012

Hey. Keachick – rose pinenut. What I left BoB Orci is a special one. If he get’s BND Del Trame’s name in the movie. I will give him a special code on how to use it. If not. It will be used on him. Lol.

38. Obsidian - January 11, 2012

So let me get this straight–post a story about a (crazy tyrannical) political figure, even in satire, and warn the readers of this site not to engage in political discussion. Ok, I think I got it.

39. denny cranium - January 11, 2012


40. SciFiGuy - January 11, 2012

#38 — Yep, that’s the Pascale way. From now on, I’ll refer to one sided partisan attacks without permitted rebuttal as “Pascaling”…

41. Borgminister - January 11, 2012

What partisan attack needs rebutting? It’s satire on Akhmaomygod.

42. bgdrewsif - January 11, 2012

I am deeply worried about Iran’s secretive dilithium crystal enrichment activities…

43. Red Dead Ryan - January 11, 2012


Who’s the “Illinois Nazi” you speak of?

44. Vultan - January 11, 2012



45. Vultan - January 11, 2012


And just in case you (or any other reader) isn’t familiar with the reference:

46. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 11, 2012

#37 Commodore – I getcha. Excellent thinking. Are you getting this, Bob?

47. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 11, 2012

Always gotta an enemy, a villain, bad guys/country. From Afghanistan and Iraq and now to Iran…Perhaps Iran sees the West, the US in particular, as the bad guys. Just remember who got the nukes (weapons of mass destruction) first…lest you forget.

48. Vultan - January 11, 2012


Good point… except it’s not just the US that keeps having problems with them… lest you forget.

49. DS9 IN PRIME TIME - January 11, 2012

I love his sense of humor!! Freeking great

50. Captain McColl - January 11, 2012

You yanks are going a bit over board with Ahmadinejhad. Is it because he is president of a Muslim country your government has taught you to fear?

51. Borgminister - January 11, 2012

How is mocking fearing?

52. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 11, 2012

Yeah, of course, the neighbouring countries have problems with each other, always have done at various times over millennia. The US is, however, a large continent and ocean away.

Black gold! Black gold! Black gold! and we all want it!

53. Vultan - January 11, 2012

If only geopolitics were that simple. But hey, I’m sure Iran is a perfectly fine place to live.

See ya’ll there spring break!

54. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 11, 2012

I doubt that Iran is such a fine place to live, especially if you are a female. It is what it is with its religion and culture which is not what most of us would agree with or want, but that is how it is and has been for several hundred years at least. What I am saying is that the fears we in the West harbour about them (wanting to expand the Islamic way etc) may be, and in fact, are the same fears they harbour about us. Both fears may have some legitimacy.

The truth is that the US, nor anyone else quite likely, would be giving diddly squat about Iran or any of those middle eastern countries if they had none of that BLACK GOLD in large quantities, let alone what life might be like for ordinary people living in those countries.

Stop making and provoking people who may easily become antagonistic and could end up becoming a deadly enemy!

This also relates to how many people want Star Trek to be – I mean, you gotta have an enemy, whether known or new, otherwise there can’t be any real drama or excitement etc. It is the overall attitude, thinking, psychology that I am challenging here. It may be what Gene R was trying to do as well, with only limited success…perhaps humanity needs to suffer even more. God – if it hasn’t suffered enough already through its collective greed, hatred and folly.

55. Vultan - January 11, 2012

I don’t recall there being any oil in the mountains of Afghanistan, and all that nation-building that’s been going on, trying and trying, though mostly failing, to bring them into the 21st century—trading beheadings for books.

Anyway, you might want to take a step back and look at the overall picture of the world today. There’s no such thing as isolationism anymore. It’s all connected—economies, people, etc. No more “over there.” No more minding your own business, for better or worse. And some people fear the new people in the neighborhood, be they Americans in the Middle East or Muslims in the West, for whatever reason.

Both sides could do some growing up, but one of them could do a lot more than the other. And I think we all know in our heart of hearts which culture (and government) that is.

56. Red Dead Ryan - January 11, 2012

I know the U.S has tried to make up for its past behaviours against Iran. President Obama had repeatedly reached out to the Islamic Republic, only to be rebuffed by Iran’s arming of Iraqi Shia militias to target and kill U.S soldiers in Iraq, up until the last American troops left recently. They’ve also funded Hezbollah, a Lebonese terrorist organization whose main objective is to destroy Israel. The Iranians have also caused trouble in Afghanistan, with IEDs given to the Taliban for targetting NATO troops.

A robust nuclear program that is being kept secret, and underground, along with the leaders’ continued threats against Israel mean that Iran can’t be trusted.

Having said that, I do not support military action against that country. I think the West has to make it clear, though, that Iran can be a friend if it changes its behavior.

The bigger concern, at least right now, is Pakistan. Its continued support for Al Queda and the Taliban (with American money), and fully armed nuclear bombs being transported in the open in unmarked trucks in a highly politically and economically unstable country is alarming. They’ve also (allegedly) stolen Canadian military equipment from Afghanistan.

57. Anthony Thompson - January 11, 2012

54. Keachick – rose pinenut

“It is what it is with it’s religion and culture”.

That’s a blanket (and ignorant) statement. A number of Muslim countries have had women as head of state or other high positions. In over 200 years, the United States has not had one female President or Vice-President. In Israel, women are currently being asked to sit at the back of the bus (or bullied if they refuse). Western countries have a heritage of misogyny which can’t be denied. Look, for example, at the abuse which was heaped upon the women who accused Herman Cain of sexual misconduct.

In short, consider the deficits of your own religion and culture before you condemn others.

58. Plum - January 11, 2012

Jon Stewart and ESPECIALLY Steven Colbert (Jon, you wish you were this sexy) always manage to give a hand to what’s actually funny! Trust me, reality is always funnier. lol ;p

59. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 11, 2012

#57 Since when did Western religion and culture become mine alone? For the vast majority of us reading and posting here, Western history, religion and culture is something we all share to a greater or lesser extent. I have not condemned Iran any more than I have condemned ourselves. It was in fact other posters who were condemning Iran far more than I was. Read all of the posts.

60. Vultan - January 12, 2012


Well put, RDR. I don’t want military action against Iran, either. Diplomacy first and foremost. But the regime has to meet us half way.

And if they are perceived as a “villain” in other parts of the world, then their government is responsible for that image (for the most part).

61. Anthony Thompson - January 12, 2012


I just don’t like this ‘us and ‘them’ mentality. Minneapolis-St. Paul has a large Muslim population. They are a part of the community and I haven’t perceived any discrimination against women. In fact, Muslim women of my acquaintance are very strong and on an equal footing with men. Further, our congressman from Minneapolis (Keith Ellison) is a Muslim and a very strong proponent of progressive policies, including those involving women. The point I’m trying to make is, don’t paint a people or religion with a broad brush.

62. Keachick - rose pinenut - January 12, 2012

It is not me painting a broad picture. It was others, eg

#53 – “If only geopolitics were that simple. But hey, I’m sure Iran is a perfectly fine place to live.
See ya’ll there spring break!” I would say that Vultan was being a bit sarcastic.

The truth is in many Muslim countries like Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, the majority of women do get a raw deal compared with women in the West. Yes, there has been/is misogyny here (I sense it even on this site sometimes), but we don’t have some of the extreme laws and punishments that women face in some of these countries – eg the law sentencing her to floggings and beatings or beheading a female because she was raped!

I am aware it is not the case everywhere, but these things should not/cannot be denied. I would hazard a guess that many of the Muslim immigrants/refugees have come to Western countries, like NZ, to get away from these cruelties and injustices and start afresh in a country where the women don’t have to face this kind of *justice*. They can also wear what they want, eg no head scarf, without spending a night in prison. The fact that many Muslim women do wear traditional dress here is because they choose to, not because they are forced to or face sanctions.

(Where I live, I see a lot of Muslim women, as well as many other races and cultures. In fact, in the 2005 census, the area of South Auckland was found to have people from nearly 150 different cultures around the world and that many languages were spoken. Little has changed since then and that’s in a population of about 360,000 people! A real little United Nations down here).

63. cjc96 - January 12, 2012

Colbert for Federation President!!

64. Borgminister - January 13, 2012

Anyone see Colbert’s Turnabout Intruder Superpac Transfer?

65. David Jones - January 16, 2012

I don’t expect Star Trek fans to grasp world affairs but I figured I’d respond to this comment from @Red Dead,,
“The bigger concern, at least right now, is Pakistan. Its continued support for Al Queda and the Taliban (with American money), and fully armed nuclear bombs being transported in the open in unmarked trucks”
Is that the same al queda rebels we just helped destroy Lybia with? Why didn’t we arrest those dastardly al queda right then?
Fully armed nuclear bombs being transported in the open in trucks? How could evil terrorists do that when we have agencies that use spy sattiltes to monitor above ground nuclear fission materials. Unless their in on it, that’s always possible,,,

Please, the war on terror is the biggest scam since global warming.

The Iranian threat is hype generated to start a global war. Its all based on real global conspiracys that are playing out right before your eyes.
Problem is part of the conspiracy is to fool you with their controlled media and education system. Most of you don’t know any better.
Soon you will,,,

66. Jai - January 17, 2012

I have to congratulate Anthony Thompson for his patient efforts, although some of his polite comments have obviously fallen on deaf ears.

Several Trekmovie commenters with a history of bigotry towards Muslims and/or non-white people have also completely ignored Anthony Pascale’s warning in #11. is represented by Gorilla Nation. Please contact Gorilla Nation for ad rates, packages and general advertising information.